Random Traffic Through Nick's Brain

This trip was a lot of poker, around 46 hours all told. I didn’t socialize much other than around meal times. There should be enough people stories to keep things interesting to non-poker players… at least as interesting as the rest of the shit I write. I didn’t take any pictures while in Vegas, so the normal random assortment is interspersed.

Entry 1

Well, it’s 03:30 Vegas Time, 06:30 Boston time. I got less than 5 hours sleep last night, and have played about 12 solid hours of poker today. I’m so tired that I had to adjust the font on the laptop to allow my eyes to focus. I’m not going to bed yet because the smoked salmon plate that I ordered from room service will only be here in 25 minutes or so. As you may already be able to tell, I’ve had a good day.

Wednesday Night

Not much to report. Landed right around midnight. Met Andy and Dan. Dropped by Walgreens to pick up a Red Bull. Then into FatBurger. 1 Fatburger with everything plus egg, bacon, and cheese. Mmm… Dina’s parents met us at FatBurger.

Off to the Mirage to play some $3-6 Hold’em to get the idiot style of play out of my system. It didn’t quite work. The table was pretty boring, other than one person who really, really, really didn’t understand the game. He was either utterly drunk, senile, or mentally handicapped. It was kind of sad, but what can you do. He was an adult and wanted to play…

Narrative pause. Room service is here. Something decadent about meeting a guy in a tux in a Gaimen Death t-shirt and underwear. … ah… much better… ate enough to get me seeing straight again. The platter is soooo cute. It has mini bottles of Heinz Ketchup, Heinz Dijon Mustard, and Tabasco.

Anyway… played from 02:24 to 04:22 and made $6. Dina fared slightly better and made $10. We explained Texas Hold’Em to Mr. D’Avirro. I also wore my snazzy noise reduction headphones, which are great on planes BTW, at the poker table. Combined with Dina’s MP3 player, it’s pretty cool. Having a nice little soundtrack to insulate you from the buzz of the casino, and the inane table chit-chat is nice. I miss certain things, but I think that is more than made up for by the fact that I focus on what the players are doing more.

BTW, playing poker online has really helped improve my hand reading skills. Figuring out what is going on through betting patterns is neat.

Thursday

Woke up at 10:00 and headed to the Orleans with Mr. D’Avirro and Dan to play in the 12:00 Limit Hold’em Tournament. I initially wasn’t going to play, but Dan was going anyway, Jim had berated me in email about my fear that I was dead money, and it was a good way to get Mr. D’Avirro to play a few hours of poker on the cheap.

For the first bit of the tournament, things were going well. I played quite tight, yet aggressive, stealing and bluffing as necessary, but mostly making use of good cards and better luck. By the time the rebuy period was over, I was up to about 6 or 7 times the starting stack size. I declined to take an add-on.

After that, a slow decline, fueled by bad cards, bad luck, and some questionable plays on my part.

Things came to a head when there were 29 players left. The good news is that I survive until a break. The bad news is that the big blind goes up to 200, and I’m under the gun with only 175 left in chips. I look down, lo and behold, K♦Q♦. I go all in, and quintuple up. In my big blind, I have an ace baby that hits two pair, against someone with an AQo. I’m back in the running.

I bust Mr. D’Avirro out in 12th position out of 92. He played quite well, considering that this was his first attempt at poker in a casino. This reminds me, the tournaments at Orleans have bounties. You get a $5 chip, real money, not tournament money, every time you bust out a player.

By the time I get to the last table, I’m somehow chip leader. The first few hands, I’m aggressive, and win, steal, and bully slightly more than my share of the pots. By the time we get down to 5 players though, I’m in big trouble. The blinds are high, and I haven’t seen a hand that is even worth bluffing with in the last 17 hands. Thankfully, people agree to a deal. In the end, for a $30 buy in, I get $30 worth of bounties, and a $450 prize, after dealer tip. Pretty f’ing sweet.

Mind you, now it’s 17:30, and I’m hungry and exhausted. Thankfully, Dan is back from the airport with Koppelman, which means it’s time for the 2nd trip to FatBurger within 24 hours. Sweet. I order a double this time, with the canonical egg, cheese, and bacon. Koppelman scarfs down his burger in near no time. It’ is quite impressive.

Then back to the Orleans for the 19:00 Limit Omaha Tournament with Dina, Dan, Andy, and Koppelman. When we meet Andy, we learn that he’s won TARGET and an entry into one of the $1500 events on Friday. Dan notes that so far, one of the cast has placed in every tournament we’ve played today. Dina says she’ll rise to the challenge and place in this tournament. This after reassuring herself that you must use 2 cards from your hand at Omaha just before the tournament starts.

I don’t get anywhere in the tournament. Pretty much nothing to do with my play, as far as I can tell. I just got crap cards, or when I got good cards, other people had better or the flop didn’t hit. The most chips I have ever is $575, right after a rebuy of $200 and an add-on of $200. $50 down the drain for me after 2.5 hours of Omaha.

However, Dina, true to her word, places. The final table gets down to 5 players before they cut a deal. For her initial $50 investment, she gets $10 in bounties, and a $440 prize, after dealer tip. Very impressive for someone who rarely plays Omaha.

So, three tournaments entered, the cast has placed in all three. We hope this trend continues tomorrow with Andy, Jim, and Koppelman entering WSOP events.

While Dina is playing the tournament, I’m bored. Despite the fact that I’m fried from 8 hours of tournament play, and the fact that I started drinking 151 and cokes when I realized the futility of my Omaha endeavour, I decide to sit down at a $10-20 Hold’em ring game with a ½ kill. The game is quite soft. Despite not bringing my A game to it, I play from about 21:30 to 01:30 and go up about $487. I was really scared of losing my $500 buy-in.

The D’Avirros probably now know how much money I sometimes play for given the fact that I had about $1000 in chips in front of me at that table.

Part of what is interesting about the poker games on this trip is that I don’t really remember many particular hands anymore. People lay bad beats on me. It happens… I don’t feel as obsessed about it as I used to. I’m not really sucking out on people much, since I’m playing tighter. I’m getting pretty good at hiding strong hands, having people call or bet into me when I have monsters like top flushes or full houses. I’m also quite proud of a hand where I consciously caught someone bluffing for about $300.

After that, off to the Bellagio to say hi to Jim, and, of course, boast a bit about our good day. Jim, surprisingly, immediately sat down at the $15-30 game, the first time he’s played that high. We’ll see how he does when we catch up with him tomorrow.

As of now, I’m up $883 at poker, and Dina is up $410. If we stop now, and sit by the pool for the rest of the trip, it’s pretty much paid for itself… but… of course… things aren’t that simple… or boring…

Stay tuned for more tomorrow…

Entry 2

It’s 19:43 Vegas time, and we’re sitting at the airport waiting for our flight home. We have exit row seats… yeah!

Friday

Started the day off right by grabbing a salad at one of the little cafés in the Paris Casino, and sitting at one of the little tables and people watching while I ate. Coffee and red bull helped perk me up a bit too.

After that, off to the Bellagio to try the $2-$4, $200 Buy-In No Limit Hold’em game. The session was quite fun. I was wearing one of those biking shirts that’s supposed to wick away moisture during exercise. As I said to Daniel, “Shirt that wicks away moisture, my ass.”

Andy and Koppelman quickly bust out of their WSOP tournament. Andy runs his JJ into KK. Koppelman’s KK runs into A4 with a J44 flop. I think they last about 11 and 15 hands respectively. This is not the shortest tournament one of the gang plays.

My cell phone rings

Friend: Hey Nick, SO and I are bored, what are you up to?

Nick: Playing poker at the Bellagio.

Friend: Oh. Didn’t realize you were in Vegas.

Nick: Want me to sign you up for a table?

Jim: Nick, you can really be a dick at times.

The table was quite lively, with both Jim and Koppelman at my table. At one point, Jim is put to a decision for all his chips, and the waitress walks by with his beer. He says to the bettor, “I’m tipping the waitress $1 before I call you.” Quite funny at the time. At one point, Jim was being paid about $3.50 to drink each of the 6 beers he consumed while at the table. At another point about 30 minutes later, Jim had paid about $100 to drink each of the 6 beers…

By the near end of it, I had rebought twice, and was down to $100. Ouch. One of the stings came as Jim semi-bluffed with a 69:31 underdog of a hand. I called, he hit. At that point, I decided, “Fuck it.” At Koppelman’s prompting, I started on martinis. ½ playing ½ being the drunken lout, with help from straight men such as Jim, Dan, and the guy beside me, I rushed up about $250 before leaving the table, ending up down about $242 after 6¾ hours of play. It was a pretty good education. I think that I can re-read the No Limit poker books that I have and get much more out of them now. At the end of the session, I was betting doller amounts that were Mersenne Primes. :-)

After that, off to the Voodoo Lounge at the Rio for another sunset. It was actually quite an uplifting walk from the Bellagio to Bally’s. Walking in the sun, half drunk, with my MP3 player running soundtrack in the background. I don’t think think I’ve appreciated Vegas during the day as much as I have on this trip.

While waiting for Jim and Dan to pick me up outside Bourbon Street Casino, I took a sojourn in Jim’s fantasy universe. An SUV full of blonds stopped and asked me if I needed a ride somewhere. I’m so out of practice at this stuff that I said “No.” instead of, “Yeah, but I’m waiting for my friend, think you could give us both a lift?” For posterity’s sake, the two blonds in the front were about a 9 (driver) and a 7 (passenger) on the hotness scale, and the ones in the back were a 6 and 8 without the standard blond penalty. Jim notes:

I’d be willing to ride on the hood if needed to party with those chicks…

Unfortunately, we got there a bit late, and missed the actual sunset. I was also a bit drunk at this point and didn’t live the experience to it’s fullest. Had a very, very rare steak for supper. Mmm. I don’t remember this part, but at one point, I tossed a piece of my steak to Jim. It bounced on his white plate, leaving a trail of blood. Someone said something like “Jim, Nick’s steak ate some of your potatoes.” Dan also opined that both Dina and I put up with each other. I’ve generally been of the opinion that Dina puts up with me, until both Smooth and Dan opined otherwise. Helped increase my buzz.

Went back to the hotel, had a nice conversation with Andy, gnawed on the remains of my steak, and fell into the blissful drunken stupor of sleep.

Saturday

More poker at the Bellagio. Some $8-$16 Hold’em for about 50 minutes. Then got a seat at the $2-$4, $200 Buy-In No Limit Hold’em game. Unfortunately, I was seated with Andy. The good news is he only tried to put plays on me for big hands twice. The first time, my made hand held up. The 2nd time, I had T7o in the Big Blind. Andy was to my left, UTG. The flop comes 6♣8♣9♠, giving me the nut straight. I raise $20. Andy comes over the top for $100 straight. I re-raise all in for $255 straight. Andy thinks, thinks, thinks, calculates pot odds, and folds. I thought he had a flush draw. Discussing the hand later, he had 77, which made me a 7:1 favourite. Too bad I didn’t know he had that hand at the time :-)

I made a questionable call for a decent amount of chips by playing my own cards instead of thinking of what the other person had. If I just count my outs, I’m a 2:1 underdog, and I have pot odds. Once I factor in what my opponent could have had to make the bets he did, I’m a horrible underdog. At least I learned a lesson from losing that bet.

After 2 hours, I’m up $30. Mostly due to the above questionable call, and a hand where my JTo tripped up, but was outkicked.

My first experience at the Bellagio Buffet was underwhelming. Decent selection of fish. As much bacon as you want is a definite plus. Good value for money, but not as spectacular as Jim and Dina led me to believe. The fact that I don’t eat plates and plates of king crab legs is probably the differentiating factor.

Off to Binion’s Horseshoe with Andy to allow him to play in tournaments. I went down $240 in 6½ hours. I held my own, and didn’t get my head handed to me as I almost expected. At the end, I got a horrible run of no cards. The occasional time I’d get a playable hand, would usually cost me $40 to play it, since I’d pick up a draw to a straight or flush on the flop with one person betting, and have the pot odds to call the flop and turn bets. All in all, I was pretty proud of how I handled the session. I knew what my problems or holes were, and tried to plug them while waiting for cards.

Other interesting things while at Binion’s. First, got a massage while at the poker table. Twas nice, and reasonably priced. My masseuse noted that I have a lot of nasty knots in my back. Second, I flipped my Yes/No disc preflop to decide whether to call or fold. It landed on edge. Granted the edge is quite wide, but it was still downright surprising. Heeding Jones’s advice, I took that as an excuse to fold, as opposed to taking the third alternative of raise. At some point, one of the players said something about calculating odds. I said something like “Yeah, I should probably learn what the odds of things happening are, and how to calculate them.”, ever playing the groundling. I made it a point not to mention my math degree for the rest of the trip. He gave me a quick formula, which I don’t really bother with, but could be useful for others.

After the flop, approximate % chance of hitting one of your outs by the river:

(4 x number of outs) - 2

After the turn, approximate % chance of hitting one of your outs on the river:

(2 x number of outs) + 2

On the way out of Binion’s, saw a little poker book cart, and bought Doyle’s Supersystem. Started reading it… even the first 40 pages or so are very educational.

Late dinner was at Delmonico’s in the Venetian. Very good. Not as over the top as I thought it would be. I lost a bet on the amount of food I was able to eat not because I was full, but because my steak was too fatty. I think I’ve hit the far end of the pendulum swing on the fatty steak end for now. Tasting Koppelman’s and Katie’s Chateaubriand also helped. It was just plain good. Didn’t stop me from having a soufflé and sharing another dessert with Andy.

After that, back to the hotel for sleep. I was unable to time-shift myself on this trip. I normally prefer to go to sleep around 8AM, and sleep in ’til mid afternoon. Didn’t happen. As a result, I missed playing at the $200 Buy-In No Limit game at the Bellagio with Dan, Jim, Koppelman, and Jeremy. Drat.

Sunday

Another day at the Orleans. Woke up around 11:00 and dragged Jim and Andy to enter the $70 No Limit tournament. We were on the alternate list. There was one rebuy, and if people busted out before the end of the rebuy period, the alternate could take their seat. Jim’s 5th, Andy’s 6th, and through a tournament director snafu, I’m 8th.

While waiting for my seat, I play 40 minutes of $10-20 Hold’em and go up $95. Enough to cover my tournament. Sweet. Jim gets called. Less than 5 minutes later, he’s back. He had JJ vs. KK. He’s not even sure if his ass hit the chair before he got busted. Sucky.

I last a bit longer, ’til about 30th place, out of 138, but in the end, I don’t go all in on a hand that would have hit and probably would have kept me healthy for another hour or so. Instead, I take a stand a rotation later. Q3s in middle position gets taken down by the big blind who has 77. Oh well.

Andy, on the other hand, finishes 2nd, for a handsome payout. All in all, Jim goaded me into playing tournaments. That was a good thing. We convinced Dina to play. Also a good thing. I dragged Jim and Andy to the Orleans No Limit Tournament, a net good thing. Jim suggests that I try some of the tournaments at the Gold Nugget. I will next year.

After that, I leapfrog from table to table. The floor puts me on a $2-$4 Hold’em table instead of a $4-$8. I play my KQs for 2 raises in my big blind and fold on the flop when it whiffs completely. A seat at the $6-$12 opens up. 5 minutes sitting at the table, down $6.

The $6-$12 Hold’em table is no better. 20 minutes sitting at the table, down $76. Then I finally get called to the $10-$20 table and play for a reasonable 2½ hours and go up $128. I have now played about 37 hours of poker, and have not been dealt AA or KK yet.

One hand that I think I played well. I have A♠K♠, raise pre-flop, and get a few callers. The board comes A♥K♥7♥, good but scary for me. I bet, get one caller. The turn comes J♦. I bet, get raised, and re-raise. The river is 2♠. I bet, and my lone opponent folds. Quite scary betting into that flop.

Dinner and good conversation at the Bellagio Buffet.

Back to the hotel room, relax for a bit, then off to the Mirage $10-$20 game. I should have gone to a strip club instead.

I’m up about $300, then the table goes short handed, and I tank about $750 to end up down $457 for a midnight to 05:00 session. Once we got to short handed, the session was frustrating. Jim opines that I’m not aggressive enough short handed, but he hasn’t seen my play at these limits lately. One of the things that this trip taught me is the value of aggression, especially at limits where people play somewhat reasonably… $6-12, $8-16, and $10-20. I was quite aggressive. I was also dealt very good cards. But someone was usually dealt better. If I had QQ 5 handed, someone had KK. If I made top set, someone made a straight. Jones says not to look for monsters under the bed. They were there pretty much every hand. If it weren’t just plain paranoid, and the table was using an automatic shuffling machine, I’d suspect dealer collusion, I was getting beaten that badly.

I still can’t shake the feeling that I was getting clobbered for some reason other than pure variance. I felt I was getting outplayed, but couldn’t figure out how I was getting outplayed. Andy has said that he has enough faith in my game that he thinks it’s just simple variance. That is a big consolation, but… something still worries me about the session… it’s not losing… it’s losing and not knowing why.

Got my first AA at this table. It was a disaster, I knew it, and didn’t know how to stop it. As I made it 5 bets pre-flop with 6 callers, I knew I was giving them pot odds to chase. It sucked. 67o in early position won the hand as the flop hit 67x and a 7 hit the river. It was about a 35 big bet pot. Oh well.

As we worked our way down to short-handedness, I had the following conversation with one of the players leaving the game.

Player: There are 5 boulders at the table.

Me: Looks around the table Really?

Player: You haven’t been keeping track, have you?

Me: I thought I did, I only count four. Where?

Player: Seats 2, 4, 6, 7, 8

Me: But I’m in the 6 seat.

Player: Have you been paying attention to the cards you’re playing?

I guess it’s good that I’m playing tight. Now I have to learn how to disguise it…

The next day was a decision between the Orleans, which had been doing well for me, the Bellagio, or the Mirage. Dina and I settled on the Orleans. We sat down at the $6-$12 Hold’em, ½ kill table. I clobbered it for $392 in about 1 2/3 hours. Besides getting cards, I was playing quite well. I remember successfully buying a pot with J5o, and knowing why I was able to do it. I remarked to Dina at the end of the hand “And that’s how you win a pot with J5o when nothing hits.” Worth the implied tilt / calling odds for future hands, given that I was actually playing quite tight normally.

My favourite hand of the whole trip happened at this table. As I rake in pot after pot, one of the regulars in seat 8, I’ll call him Tubbs, was getting increasingly grumbly about the “kid with the headphone” at the other end of the table, in seat 2, who didn’t know how to play poker. He was determined to teach me a lesson… I love that… People focused on anything at the table besides making a profit are generally acting to the benefit of other players at the table.

Tubbs is in early position. Possibly under the gun, no later than 2nd to act. He raises, and gets some callers. I’m in late middle position. I look at my hand, I have JJ, a pretty good hand, but I want to be playing against a small number of opponents. I raise to isolate. Fold around to Tubbs, who re-raises. Fold back around to me, and I put in the final raise, first because I’m pretty much of the opinion that there’s no reason not to in this position. If he has a really strong hand, AA or KK, and he’ll probably re-raise. If not, he’ll just call. Second, I read the situation and his behaviour, and figured that I had the best hand at the table.

The flop is K52 rainbow. He checks. I quickly decide that I still have the best hand. The King didn’t help him. I bet, he raises, I immediately re-raise. He just calls.

The turn is a 3. I don’t read him for a straight. He bets, I raise, he re-raises, I re-raise, he calls.

The river is a K. He checks. I bet. He whines “The river counterfeited me!” and calls.

I turn over my JJ. He turns over 53o, for a lower two pair. I rake in a monster pot.

As I’m raking it in, Tubbs starts mouthing off. How can I make it 5 bets pre-flop with Jacks? How can I call, let alone raise, on the flop with a King on board? He claims he had me all the way to the river, and I got lucky. I have to admit, he had me on the turn, and I didn’t know it. I actually pegged him for a pocket pair in the 77 to TT range.

Anyway, I don’t normally mouth back at the poker table. I’m happy to banter light-heartedly with the other players while the game is going on, and contribute to the general camaraderie / looseness / gambling image of the game, but I’ll normally just ignore belligerent players. First, they’re making enough of an ass of themselves, there’s no need for me to help. Second, saying anything will normally just get me in the bad books of the other people at the table. Last, ignoring the person on tilt will normally make them tilt worse. The silent treatment is f’ing great for that. This time, though, it was just too juicy to pass up. I felt the table wouldn’t mind me talking back just a bit. Besides… if he’s wondering how I can make it 5 bets pre-flop with JJ, I sure as hell have the right to question how he did it with 53o.

Unfortunately, after this hand, Tubbs gave up gunning for me, and went back to playing his normal game. Drat.

After that table, off to play $10-$20 Hold’em. Another disaster. Down $538 in 2½ hours. One of the locals at the table said that he hadn’t seen anyone as unlucky as me in a long time. I have no reason to doubt he was telling the truth other than the fact that he was playing poker against me. For example, the 2nd time on the trip I have AA, it’s in the small blind, with no callers, so we just chop. When I have 55 and hit Q52 on the flop, the turn and river are JT, giving a guy with AKo a straight. I felt like I did at the Mirage. I was getting unlucky, or I was getting outplayed so well that I didn’t realize I was getting outplayed other than this vague feeling I still have. The Binion’s session, I really felt and knew that I was getting bad or no cards, and that was the reason I was going down. In the Mirage and Orleans sessions, I felt I was getting really unlucky, but that it was so unlucky that it just couldn’t possibly be luck. Andy is suggesting that I’m underestimating the variance of the game and suggests that I keep logs.

Synopsis

• 46 hours of poker, about 44 Hold’em and 2 Omaha. Up a grand total of $5. Despite the laughably close to zero number, I guess I should be happy. Given an average rake of $4 per hand, 20 hands per hour, 10 players per table, then if I were a break even player, I’d be down about $4 x 20 / 10 x 46 = $344 on the trip.
• It was nice hanging out with Koppelman & Katie. I’m bummed that I didn’t gamble more with Jeremy.
• I didn’t use my camera once.
• I didn’t shift my sleep schedule.
• I have absolutely no fear of the $10-$20 game any more. I don’t think I should either.
• I am now much more aggressive post flop. I used to be way too weak, now I’m a bit to strong. I’m getting closer to what I think is correct play though, and am quite proud of that.
• I remember fewer and fewer hands. I think this is a good thing. I just play what I get, and accept the fact that the odds, though in my favour, don’t mean I’ll win all the time. Bad beats usually mean that I’m playing at a positive EV game.
• I’m learning how to play tight, and even very tight if necessary. Now I have to learn how to disguise that.
• With my new found post-flop aggression, I’ve learned how to bet people out of the pot. It’s not simple foot-on-the-gas-pedal betting. It’s some combination of checking, calling, betting, raising, and re-raising designed to communicate to the opponent “I’m trying to get the most money I can out of you.” That scares them, and they fold. About 2/3 of my pots were made on monster hands that got paid off. About 1/3 of my pots were steals with marginal hands that I knew I could make pay off. I very rarely tried to steal and failed. When I did, it cost me very little money.

For those of you who were put off by the high poker content of the last trip report you’ll be happy to hear that there is less poker in this one. At the very least, I brought my camera with me, so there’ll be some pretty pictures.

Some general notes:

• An abundance of fun fellow travelers means less time gambling, and more time just hanging out doing whatever.
• I was fighting some sort of low grade bug. All sorts of side effects, including being grumpier that even I am wont to (sorry that you had to put up with me guys), not sleeping well, and being slower both physically and mentally. It probably didn’t help that we were drinking like fish.
• Due to the inability to handle the lack of sleep, I didn’t write while I was there like I did last time.

Blah, blah, blah… on with the trip report.

The cast:

Me: looking to play lotsa poker, and push both my luck and limits. Dreading the heat in the 90′s.

Dina: looking for quality pool time, plus some time playing table games.

Smooth: some sports betting, and learn some poker, craps, and play some BJ.

Yumi: tied for the least interested in gambling. Quality pool time a must.

Jim: yo? Looking to be Jim.

Dan: ready to tear up the craps tables.

Erin: late addition, tied with Yumi in gambling interest. Quality pool and outdoor time.

Alma: there with us in spirit, if not in body. Couldn’t make it up from Phoenix. :-(

Cesar: drove in to meet us at the last minute from Phoenix-ish.

Flight there uneventful, other than the fact that Smooth & Jim were on the edge of their seats ’cause of the Sox game. Best part was when I was actually able to list all 50 US states. First time I’ve ever been able to do that. Left at 20:00 on Thursday, arrived before midnight. Tried to play Tichu on the plane, but that didn’t work so well due to seating arrangements. Erin met us at the airport in Vegas. One set of us took a cab to the hotel, the other went with Jim to pick up his rental car.

Checked in to Treasure Island and settled in. Dina & I, Smooth & Yumi have adjoining rooms. Jim, Dan, and Erin have an adjacent room. Off to FatBurger (open 24 hours!) to start the weekend off right.

Jim and I hit the 3-6 Hold’em table at the Mirage. This isn’t a poker story… it’s a story about people. I’d decided to play like a nut, but wasn’t really in the mood. Didn’t stop me from getting drunk on bourbon and whiskey. Everyone at the table was known by the drink they were drinking, there was Diet Coke (Jim) in seat 1, Coors (who I’ll get to later) in seat 2, Bourbon (me) in seat 3, Galliano, MGD, Corona, and 151 (151 proof rum and Coke).

No interesting poker, other than the fact that I was down about $116 after 5 hours of play from 01:00 to 06:00. Dina, Smooth, and Yumi literally watched from the rail behind Jim and I until about 03:00. The table was boring for the first half hour, until Coors sat down. He was high on gambling, having won about $3,000 at table games like “Wheel of Fortune”, and drunk. Smooth suspects he was coked up. He sat down, and started handing $10 and $20 stacks of chips to Smooth and Dina to play on roulette. He was taking coin flips at $5 a pop. He would tip the dealer very generously when he won a hand. He would tip the dealer even more generously when he lost. He’d throw chips to other players just cause. Those of us that were still sober were perking up… a drunk fish, literally throwing money away… who needs figuratively. Then, the real fun started.

His girlfriend drops by. Tall, blonde, dressed to distract, with a really nice set of T&A. She sat to the right of Coors, right beside Jim. She was very talkative, bubbly, and probably just as drunk and high as Coors was. She was definitely Jim’s phenotype, and could have passed for the cousin of one of Jim’s ex-girlfriends. As Coors drank more and more beers, he’d get sloppy, and drop chips on the floor. The blonde would bend over, giving both Jim and I nice views (albeit, of different ends). My fun for the next little while was watching the ever expanding puddle of drool in front of Jim. Jim was the only one at the table not drinking. He was probably also the only sober one at the table, a fact that the rest of us latched on to, and started needling him about. Being the friend that I am, I figured I might as well find a constructive way to get him to start drinking. I offered to flip with Coors for the temporary services of his girlfriend. I suggested that as an incentive to get Jim to drink, she could sit on Jim’s lap. Jim said nothing, but my tell reading skills don’t need no stinking speech sometimes. Mind you, Helen Keller could have read Jim’s tells on this topic. Coors was all for it, but just as I won the toss, the blonde complains that I should be haggling with her. I tried my best, but couldn’t convince her. Jim started drinking anyway. After a while, ready to turn in, she started trying to drag Coors away from the table. Again, Jim bit his tongue. While she sashayed away from the table, Galliano called Coors crazy for deciding to hang out with us instead of her. Coors, lewdly appreciative of her assets, shrugged like a man happy with his lot in life. I think he got a kick out of us finding her attractive.

Aside: At some point during the weekend, I was having a conversation with one of the cast, and mildly tangentially, they said “reverse cowboy”. I don’t remember exactly who said it, though I have my suspicions. Kudos though. “Reverse cowboy” is a good word.

Friday Morning

Time to start paying for going to bed late. First, I forgot to turn off my normal 08:30 alarm on my Palm Pilot. Then, Dina wakes up to get ready for her day, waking me up. Dina’s cell phone rings. Since Dina’s in the shower, it just keeps ringing. Then my cell phone rings. It’s Erin, looking to plan her day with Dina. Eventually, Dina leaves, and the phones stop ringing.

knock-knock-knock

High Female Voice: Housekeeping.

Me: grumble.

HK: Housekeeping.

Me: No thank you.

HK: Housekeeping!

Me: Come back later.

HK: Housekeeping!

Me: Go Away!

HK: Want me fluff your pillow?

Me: Thinking: This can’t be the way to run a hotel No thank you. Go away. Come back later.

HK: Want me to mark you off?

Me: Yes, mark me off. Come back later or tomorrow.

HK: Want me to jerk you off?

Me: Fuck off Smooth.

HK/Smooth: Yo, open the door.

Had breakfast / lunch at Kahunaville, the lightly island themed resto, with Smooth and Yumi. The oxygen bar looked interesting, but we never got to try it on our trip. As we were sitting outside by the pool, I spent part of lunch being a dirty old man, putting my zoom lens through its paces again, and taking pics of chicks in bikinis. Had 2 normal sized drinks, then one huge drink with dry ice at the bottom. Pretty cool, but too big for this early in the morning. Had to pawn it off on Dina when she got back from picking up the Penn & Teller tickets with Jim. Jim hadn’t slept yet. While the rest of us slept 4 days in Vegas, Jim slept two, very long, days (actually, Erin slept 3 days, but we’ll get to that later).

Time for the first serious poker session of the trip. I sign up for $10-20 Hold’em at the Mirage. There’s a bit of a wait, so I wile away about half an hour by winning $50 at Blackjack. The only other two times I play blackjack, I stop when I’m exactly even, and when I’m up $4 (up $5, minus $1 tip for the cocktail waitress).

At the Hold’em table, I wait for my blind to play. My first hand is KToKing and a Ten of different suits. Decent, but not great hand.. Someone raises, a decent number of other people call, and I call. The flop is KQ4. I have top pair, decent kicker. First to act, I raise. Some people call. The turn is a T, giving me two pair. I bet, and I get one caller. The river is a T, giving me a full house. The only hands that can beat me are KK and QQ. I bet, and get called. My opponent, flips up AA, thinking he has me beat. He’s steaming when I flip over my cards and rake in the pot. He’s grumbling about getting his aces cracked. I think he has to re-raise my flop raise if he wants to protect his aces. At the very least, he loses $10 less as I might check on the turn, fearing KK, QQ, or KQ. The session lasts from 12:15 to 16:05. I’m up $159. 2 big bets an hour, not bad.

Aside: There’s a lot of machinery behind the scenes to keep casinos running smoothly. A lot of the walls and floors were vibrating or humming. You notice these things when you start slipping into the hyperawareness that you sometimes need to play good poker.

Dan had suggested cocktails at the Rio’s Voodoo Lounge for sunset. It’s on the 52nd floor roof deck, overlooking the strip. Besides the beautiful views of the sunset and the desert, it’s nice watching the lights of the strip coming on. Smooth and I made our way there, realized there was a dress code, went back to the hotel, dressed, then back to the Rio. We asked one of the taxi drivers for a strip club recommendation. That was the closest we got to a strip club all weekend.

The Voodoo Lounge was an awesome experience. Great drinks (one of the best dirty Martini’s, and best Tom Collins we’ve ever tasted). Great view of our surroundings, and great friends. One of those experiences that make you realize that life is good.

Had supper at the Voodoo Cafe, on the floor below. Erin had to hurry, since she was off to see “La Femme”. Dinner topics included the usual, Jim’s love life, or lack thereof, and one of the cast’s purchase of a timeshare, which, in the light of day, seems like a decent purchase. Though the food was good, we all dined light, though drank heavily, since we didn’t have much time before Penn & Teller. We were all pretty sauced by the time the show started.

Our show was good. I liked the bottle juggling, the intentionally evident magic tricks were cool. Teller used the Hollowe’en-o-tron instrument that I first saw at the London Museum of Science, and is my favourite instrument ever. The bullet trick is baffling.

How does one say “Missed Opportunity” in Australian?

Jim went to crash. Erin and I suppressed the urge to dance in order to watch Dan, Smooth, and Dina play craps. It was a mistake, especially since the urge to dance occurs very rarely in male Varacallis. Mind you, it was the best craps table I’ve ever been at, mainly because some busty brunette with a corset like top was leaning on the other end of the craps table. Dan didn’t make any money, but he rolled enough doubles that some guy at the other end of the table made about $3,000 by betting $100′s on the hard ways. After one freaky run of doubles, the guy said to Dan “If you roll doubles again, I’ll hug you. Hmmm, maybe I’ll send you over a couple of girls instead.” Dan proceeds to roll doubles. No homoerotic display. No 3-somes for Dan. Though, he did tip Dan $50.

I really don’t like craps, or roulette. To me, there are no interesting decisions or anticipations. Even blackjack is more interesting, for no good reason. At some point, later in the weekend, I blew $100 on craps purely due to peer pressure. I felt moronic after doing it. I’m not sure I would have felt much better if I won $100 instead. What follows is a list of things which would have given me more enjoyment for $100 than playing craps:

• Giving the $100 to one of the cast, and letting them do with it as they would.
• Giving the $100 to Dina, and let her lightly whack me across the back of the head.
• Buy 20 $5 chips, throw/scatter them in the lobby of our hotel, and watch people scramble for them.
• Get us all about 3 shots of booze each.
• Four lap dances: $20 dollar door, $20 per lap dance.

Erin and Dina were asked to slap me across the back of the head if I bought in to play craps for the rest of the trip, or ever for that matter.

Cesar joined us when we got back to Treasure Island. I puttered around watching the gang play craps again. Put $61 through the $1 slots while the gang played. Never had a ‘winning’ pull.

By the end of the night, I was pretty pissed off at myself. I should have decided to dance, play poker, or gone to bed. As it was, I chose activities that had negative enjoyment for me, plus the self-imposed standing around and waiting irritation factor.

Saturday

Sub-par breakfast at Treasure Island. Only good thing 2 banana smoothies, each with a double shot of vodka. Not a bad way to start off the morning. The sugar and banana masks even two shots quite well. Smooth, the wimp, didn’t drink.

Dan and Erin went hiking again.

WTF did I do Saturday afternoon? I don’t remember. No notes in my palm. No gambling that I can remember. Can someone remind me?

Apparently, I have no record or memory of this, but I seem to have been playing poker at the Mirage. Dina thinks that I was up.

Feeling sick, so I took a nap from about 16:00 to 18:30. Wake up, get ready for Zumanity at New York, New York. Unfortunately there was a mix-up with our tickets, and we didn’t get to see the show. The casino looked pretty nice, with the non-gaming portions laid out like small New York streets. It would have been a nice place to hang out were it not for the buzz of the Yankees being in the World Series.

I walked from Treasure Island to the Rio, taking pictures of various bits of neon eye-candy on the strip. I think the Rio would be well served to beautify Flamingo Road between the strip and itself. Enticing tourists to walk over in the non-scorching season should make them enough money to cover their costs.

Puttered around the Rio until it was time to meet up with the gang at Hamada Asiana restaurant. We’re in a back room, all by ourselves, reminiscent of our seating arrangements in Rome. I’m not feeling that well, or hungry. Everyone else, it seems, is ready to go to town. Today’s large dose poison is a-la-carte sushi, at around $7 for 2 pieces of nigiri or 6 rolls. Yumi isn’t eating sushi. She has the teriyaki steak. I’m content with ordering salad, soups, soft shelled crab, and only a couple of orders of sushi. Mind you, one of them is raw shrimp sushi, which was pretty good. The best part was the deep fried shrimp heads that came with the raw shrimp.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. We handed the waitress our order. Enough sushi was ordered to prompt the waitress to ask “You know that each order of nigiri is 2 pieces, and each roll is 6 pieces.” Upon hearing the answer “Yes, and two of us aren’t even eating sushi.”, she said that in the 5 years she worked there, no one had ever ordered that much sushi. As she was walking away with the sushi order, we quickly called her back to tell her the non-sushi part of the order. Babelfish says that is Japanese for pig.

Thankfully, by the end of the meal, I was feeling better. I helped clean the table of excess spider rolls, among other tasty things. The bill, to the right, came out to $691 for 8 of us. Not bad. In the group picture, note the empty plates and bottles on the table, what Smooth is holding, and what Jim is holding.

The ironic thing is that I wasn’t in the mood to spend much money or eat that much. Normally I’m the expensive one to eat out with. Guess I got a dose of my own medicine.

Erin, Dan, Dina, Yumi, and Cesar went to the designated post dinner activity: dancing at Bikinis. Unfortunately, dancing-mood-day for me was the previous day. I bowed out, despite the novelty of girls in bikinis dancing / gyrating in tanks of water.

Sunday

Sunday was sports day. But before we get into that, some alternate time lines.

Jim pulled another all-nighter, doing god knows what.

Erin & Cesar went to an after hours club. True to stereotype, a lot of people were sniffling, or rubbing their noses on the dance floor. Erin, a emergency vet by trade, eschewed sleep and decided to go hiking with Dan yet again.

The first story of the sleep deprived Erin was related by Dan. At a coffee shop, Erin orders 2 large coffees, Dan orders a small. With all three coffees in a tray, Erin is unable to determine which is Dan’s small.

The second is told by Erin. Outside the car, near the hiking trail, Erin realizes she needs to buck up and put on her hiking boots, so she starts talking to herself. Out loud. In Jar-Jar-ese.

Daniel’s waiting for me. Me-sa got to hurry. Me-sa must put on my boots.

Then, she wakes up to what she is saying, and yells:

I hate Jar-Jar.

The people in the car next to her look at her as if she is completely crazy.

Back to the sports. Cabbed over to Mandalay Bay with Smooth. Sports book was too crowded. We got crappy seats. I put $60 on the PatsNew England Patriots. NFL Football Team. to beat the DolphinsMiami Dolphins. ‘nother NFL Football Team., playing in Miami. I put $40 on the PackersGreen Bay Packers. NFL. to beat the RamsSt.-Louis Rams. NFL in St.-Louis. Made the former bet because I live in Boston, and am rooting for the Pats this year again. Made the latter bet because I thought that FavreGreen Bay’s Quarterback would wake up and play properly. Lost the latter bet.

As we’re watching the 1st quarter of the Pats game with a West coast start time of 10:00, we see that one of the horses is called “What’s Up Dog”. We decide to put $20 on the horse just for kicks.

For those of you not in the know, “What’s Up Dog” isn’t a veterinary reference. It’s a joke that we heard on the radio one morning, and lodged itself into Smooth’s brain for no good reason.

Joker: Yo. Could you pass me the updog?

Jokee: What?

Joker: Pass me the updog.

Jokee: What’s ‘updog’?

Joker: Nuttin’ man. What’s up with you?

Needless to say, our horse was a 7:1 underdog for a reason. It finished 6th of 6.

At the half, I’m getting a neck ache from looking at the screens. They have no TiVo. Pictures aren’t that crisp. All the extra TV screens are cool, but distracting. The Pats / Dolphins game isn’t the main game, so we’re not getting sound. I start thinking that I like Jim’s AV setup much better. All he needs is cocktail waitresses, a sports book, a few secondary screens, and TiVo for HTDV, and I’ll gamble my money away at his place instead of Mandalay Bay.

The poker room is right next to the sports book. I sign up for $4-8 Hold’em. I ask the floor to put the Pats / Dolphins game on the TV nearest me when I sit down.

The game I sat down at was a poker player’s wet dream. 9 ‘kids’ from Oklahoma, fresh off the flight, haven’t even checked in yet. Never played poker in a casino in their lives. Make that 8 kids, and one guy who’s slightly older. Maybe a young uncle, or older cousin? The blinds were weird, but perfect for the occasion: $1, $2. Possible UTG pre-flop actions were fold, call $2, or raise to $6. Against a table where I have the advantage, this means I play every flop.

Well, almost. The time I decide I shouldn’t play garbage like 95o9 = nine, 5 = five, o = off-suit, i.e. non-matching suits. the flop is 995, giving me a full house.

I was up over $200 at one point, but my holdings quickly got whittled down as Hands like AA, KK, or QQ would get called down to the river with the person hitting runner runner trips or something.

I was trying to appear to play as badly as possible. Don’t necessarily want to let the other players know that I’ve played before. I do what they do. I bet out of turn. I don’t realize it’s my turn. I bet the wrong amounts. I ask the same stupid questions they do. I’m distracted by the football game, as the Pats stage a come-back in the second half. May have fooled them, but not the dealer. When she sat up, she said to the incoming dealer “The sharks are in 1 and 6.” I’m the guy in the 1 seat. The older guy with the group is in seat 6. The others are oblivious to the dealers talking. The 6-seat and I glance at each other, exchange slight nods, and go back to playing the game. Maybe the dealer noticed that I was the only one tipping her.

The Pats game ends in overtime, with a 80+ yard bomb from Brady to Brown. Pats win. Contrary to expectation, the $126 on my ticket doesn’t mean that I collect $126. It means that I net $126. I’m up $76 for the day and the trip on sports betting.

Meanwhile, the guys from Oklahoma decide it’s time to check in. The game breaks up. I’m up $57 in about 2 hours. Pretty good.

There were all sorts of crazy hands. People calling with 9 kickers, no straight or flush draws. Most of these kids had no concept of how to determine hands, let alone play. The best illustration of this still baffles me.

Most everyone calls 3 bets to see the flop, as is the norm at the table. The flop is 944. There is a fair amount of betting, and 4 players remain. The turn is another 4. More betting, and by the time the dust settles, two players remain, the 4 seat, and the 7 seat. The river is an A. The players bet-raise-raise-raise-… At one point, after about the 8th bet, 7 seat asks if he can bet all his chips. The 4 seat seconds the motion. The dealer says that they have to do it one bet at a time. After the 14th bet, the 4 seat says “I’ll be nice to you.” and just calls. 4 seat turns over T4, giving him quads, the immortal nuts. 7 seat turns over K3, and looks expectantly at the dealer to see if he’s won. I’m flabbergasted. I have no idea what was going through 7 seat’s head. If it were a tournament, I would have called the floor to try and get them disqualified for dumping. As the $4-8 game is played with $1 chips, it took the 4 seat 3 hands to stack all his chips.

At the very least, that game made me appreciate how much worse a poker player I could be.

Smooth and I went to eat at the little Mexican joint in Mandalay Bay. On the way, we looked at the pool complex, arguably one of the best in Vegas. I was impressed. It looked nice enough that even I might spend time there. At the resto, who walks by but Colin Ferguson. Yumi, Dina, and I had been talking about him the previous week, since he’s on NBC’s new show Coupling. We were telling Yumi how we knew him from when he was in a comedy troupe in Montreal. Smooth and I chatted with Colin for a bit about nothing, then he went to catch his flight. I think he was happy to be recognized.

While we’re celebrity spotting, a story was told about Ben Affleck playing poker at the Bellagio on Friday night at some poker table that I was at.

Affleck buys in for $65,000 at the $5,000 minimum buy-in pot limit game. One hand, he makes a $5,000 bet on the river. His lone opponent takes a lot of time to think, counting and re-counting his chips. After a couple of minutes, Affleck, impatient, just mucks his hand, declaring that it was a bluff, conceding the pot to his opponent, who has yet to act.

I go to the hotel room, get dressed in my Sunday best for supper, and meet up with Jim at the Bellagio. He’s doing well at the $4-8 game. He locked me up a seat at the $15-30 game. In two hours, I first go up $400, then down to a net -$500. I’m not quite sure whether I was playing too loose, but I feel that I got a lot of good hands such as AKsA = Ace, K = King, s = same suits. where I’d raise, catch a flush draw on the flop, and not get anywhere.

Some specific hands and thoughts:

I have AQo in the small blind. Do I call 3 bets? I’m out of position, and I fear hands like AK, AA and KK. I’m only 50-50 against smaller pairs. I’m probably going to be playing against at least two other players. I folded. Interestingly in the post-Vegas poker-list analysis, Jim is advocating tighter play than Andy.

On this hand, the player 2 seats to my left, an older guy, Eastern European accent, sitting with a skanky twenty-something Thai girl, starts complaining to me that I’m taking too much time to decide on my hand. “Stop taking so much time. It’s just a couple of bets. This is why the game is slow.” The other players and the dealer quickly came to my defense, yet the old man kept yapping away. I quickly told him “I’ll make my decision when you stop talking.” It took him about 1.5 to 2 minutes to shut up, with periodic reminders from me that he was the one delaying the game now. All the other players were all telling him to stay quiet and let me think.

I think that it is a testament to my poker memory that I don’t remember what the board was for that hand. I’m slowly learning that once my hand is folded, the board doesn’t matter. What’s in other players’ hands may matter, but the board doesn’t.

I have crap in the small blind. With a bunch of players, I am getting odds to draw to almost anything. The one time this situation comes up, I call, but fold to a raise-re-raise behind me.

Aside, I moussed the hell out of my hair, and got something like 3 compliments on it from players and casino staff. Weird.

Supper is at Picassos at the Bellagio. It’s Zagat rating (/30) is 27 food, 29 decor, 28 service, $79 price. Youch. Dina, Dan, Erin, and I are the 2nd set of guests seated. It’s nice walking into a peacefully quiet restaurant. We have a nice view of the fountains from where we are sitting.

I didn’t realize what Erin had ordered, and when they brought her a dish with some foie gras the size of a large thimble, I was slightly worried about our choice of restaurants. Thankfully, one of the waiters showed up with a tureen, and proceeded to pour her split-pea soup around the foie gras, and my confidence was restored.

Initially, I declined to order the wine pairings. The only other time I’d tried them were at Harvest in Harvard Square, and I was unimpressed. After sampling Dina, Dan, and Erin’s food plus pairings, I changed my mind. The experience took wine to a whole new level for me.

The dinner is beyond my abilities to describe. Very good foie gras. I had pigeon. Dina had deer, which, oddly, was a bit to gamey for me. I think it was lingering illness.

Being served sparkling water prompted me to say “You know, this San Pellegrino stuff may be high class here, but they drink it like water in Italy.”

All in all, most expensive I’ve ever eaten, and probably in the top 5 in terms of tastiness.

After that, I sit down at another 15-30 game. I’m literally shaking. I was down $135 in about 80 minutes, mainly due to 2 mistakes.

UTG player raises. I have AJs in the small blind and call. There is an A on the flop. I know he has me out-kicked, but I call him down to the river anyway. I knew I had the correct read, but was too scared to trust myself. $50 wasted. Can no longer recall the 2nd mistake, but the fact that it was for $90 sticks in my head.

I made a bunch of small mistakes, like playing KTo and QJs too much. I also found that I was unsure how to play big face cards after a raise. The stakes were making me timid as well as cautious.

Good news is that I learned that I can play tight. I also learned that I have to be careful when picking 15-30 games at the Bellagio. I think there are too many pros there. The game is scary. That session was the most mentally challenging and exhausting session of poker I have ever played. Paying full attention to something for even 80 minutes is hard.

After that, off to Fremont street with everyone.

On the way, Jim tells what is, in my opinion, the best clueless newbie poker story I’ve heard. He can correct me if I get details wrong.

Some kid, fresh from winning a decent wad of cash at the table games, decides to sit down at the poker game. For the first few hands, he calls down to the river, no matter the betting, only to fold just before the showdown. Finally he has a hand he likes. He calls the river bet, and after the bettor turns his hand over, the kid turns over a beaten, crappy middle pair. Kid then asks the dealer to turn over the 3 burn cards. He thought, all this time, that he was playing against the house. The players eventually convince him that the game isn’t played that way. He leaves soon thereafter. Now, I can understand that this could conceivably be some sort of table game. How does one reconcile the fact that numerous hands have occurred without anyone else asking to have the burns turned over? Was he sniggering internally? “Pah! Amateurs! They’re not getting their maximum EV from this game. They’re not even asking to see the dealer’s hand!”

Watched the light show, watched the gang play craps. Played some blackjack for no net gain or loss. Played $100 worth of craps for no good reason. Again, someone slap me when I do shit like that. The downtown casino’s are pretty shabby. The people watching is still as interesting. No one was up for interesting activities after that, so off to bed.

Monday

Monday was catch up on poker day for me. First, though, another digression.

Jim was up pretty well on the weekend. He was doing crazy things like making $25 yo bets at craps. That’s $25 at 15-1 that the next roll of the dice will be an eleven. The real odds are 17-1. He was somehow up at poker, blackjack, craps, and whatever other games he sat down at, to the tune of about $1500. I was quite impressed when he left to catch his plane around noon, up on the trip.

As I’m playing poker, I get a call from Dina. “Guess who’s here? … Jim & Dan. They missed their flight.” Apparently, if you have bags to check, you need to be there 45 minutes early, not 30. They both got seats on our red-eye. At this point, Jim, Dan, and Smooth hit the Venetian craps table. Despite hitting a $50 yo, Jim goes down, about $1500. In addition to this, Jim’s ticket on the earlier flight set him back about $100. Possibly the most expensive 15 minutes for Jim ever.

Played 4 hours of $10-$20 at the Mirage. This limit at the Mirage is fast becoming my favourite, comfortable game in Vegas. Was up $265. Before I left, Andy said he wanted me to play so tight that he could hear me squeaking from Boston. I think they heard me in London on this session.

Since I wasn’t allowed to read at the table, I feared that the game might get a bit boring, and that I would loosen up. A couple of things helped me out. The cards conspired to help me. I got lots and lots of junk. Few hands were even tempting, let alone playable. Second, a grumpy rock sat down to my left, and provided good entertainment and a nice lesson in how not to play poker.

Hew would go on tilt when players’ crappy hands beat other players. You can’t be a rock and tilt when people outdraw you. You have to adapt. Muttering to yourself about others bad, but winning play is unproductive. Plus, you’re teaching me, the player to your right, exactly how to steal pots from you. Any hand that doesn’t hit an A, K, or maybe Q, I should bet into you. If you stay, you’ve hit a set or something, and I should be careful. Otherwise, I have you. Mind you, there’s no way I’m going to tell him this at the table. He wouldn’t have listened to a young whippersnapper like me anyway.

“There’s QJo again.” Another mutterance of the rock when he wasn’t even in the pot. In the absence of type 1 hands at the table, something has to win.

I was playing tight enough that I could take down pots by betting, no matter what I had. I would rarely get called down on the river. The one time I was, I was semi-bluffing middle pair, top flush draw, so I was never really busted.

Flipping a coin is great for your table image when you are playing fast and loose. It is even better for your table image when you are playing like a rock. It really, really confuses people.

After poker, grab our bags and head over to FatBurger, to finish the weekend off right. Airport, red-eye, home.

Lead Up.

This one’s going to be long. It has a fair bit about poker, but is worth a read… at least as much as anything else in this blog is… even if you aren’t a poker player. By default, we played Texas Hold’em or simply Hold’em. A bit of Omaha Hi/Lo Split 8 or Better was also played, but that was just to pass time.

The cast for this trip:

Jim. The reason we are going. Jim won NETSNew England TARGET Satellite a super-satellite that we held at our place a month or so ago. Winning buys you a $200 entry into TARGETThe Annual Rec.Gambling Entry Tournament, and $400 to cover airfare to Vegas.

Strengths: Aggressive play. Hitting outs. Odds analysis. Post-flop play. Ogling blondes.

Weaknesses: Hand selection. Not folding. Blondes.

Andy. Friend who plays in our home game. Apparently, we should be very, very scared of him.

Strengths: Too many to list from our point of view at this time.

Weaknesses: We can’t find them, ask better players.

Dina. The person who goaded me into going, making it a group trip.

Strengths: Reading other’s hands through playing the person. Being difficult to read.

Weaknesses: Inexperience. Unwilling to lay down pretty hands. Position.

Nick. Your humble narrator.

Strengths: Reading other’s hands through bets and the person. Pre-flop hand selection.

Weaknesses: General, post-flop play.

Thursday: Getting There

First, the flight was at some unghodly hour06:00, Thursday morning. Andy was on a different flight, leaving after work, and arriving around midnight. Thankfully, I’d been up until 06:00, 04:00, 04:00, 04:00, and 02:00 the last 5 nights, playing to get into a super-satellite. Since Wednesday was my last day at work, I didn’t mind showing up tired. Surprisingly, I showed up at decent hours every day. Even more surprising to me is that I went on scarce amounts of sleepfor me regularly, and was still able to function without being overly grumpy. I’m not sure whether the previous lack of sleep helped or hindered my performance in Vegas.

We played $0.5-1 Hold’em on the plane. Jim and I were up, Dina was down. In TiltBoys fashion, Jim circled me a few times on the plane. We’re playing a punchless version, although we have toyed with the idea of charging the lookee a dollar. I think my goal for this weekend is to get some cute blonde to circle JimI failed.. The plane turns out to be the last time we attempt to circle each other.

Jim: I’d have lost it if circled by a cute blonde. Absolutely lost it…

We try to teach Dina odds. I say the odds of flopping a set with a pocket pair are about 6:1 against. Jim thinks it’s higher. We bet $1. We do the math. I lose. That’s one of the things I need to work on in the game, figuring out odds, and calculating whether the pot has enough money in it for me to call when I am drawing.

The actual plane trip sucked. We hopped from Boston Logan to Chicago Midway to LAX to Las Vegas. Not much leg room… even Dina was complained about the lack. Worst part was, in Chicago, there were 4 flights to Vegas and one to L.A. As we’re looking at the departure monitors, someone beside us complained, “I can’t believe that I have to go to L.A. via Vegas.”

<sigh /> .

While we were on approach to Vegas, Jim tries to bet me $5 on which bag gets to the baggage claim carousel first. Dina is incredulous, she obviously hasn’t read TiltBoys. I take the bet.

We get into the Vegas airport. There are slot machines in the gate area. I appreciate a town that does things right. Jim rushes over to the slot machines and drops $0.50 in the slot machine in order to be the first among us to gamble in Vegas. He doesn’t win.

While we’re walking to pick up our bags, Jim angles Dina. He bets her that she won’t be the first one among the three of us to win a bet in Vegas. He’s generous… he gives her 2:1 odds, since there are two non-Dina’s on the trip so far, and only one Dina. Dina takes the bet. I offer Dina the bet “Dina, I bet you $1 that my name doesn’t begin with an N.” She doesn’t see the writing on the wall, and declines.

We get to the baggage claim. Dina and my bags are identical… one of them arrives… as I’m about to check which one it is, and while Jim is crossing his fingers that it isn’t mine, our other bag arrives. Jim loses… I win… but… Jim turns to Dina… she’s not the first person to win a bet while in Vegas… Dina is pretty apeshit…

About this time, I realize that I forgot my camera… guess that means that I have to come back. Pretty sucky… Vegas is a city that is wonderful for long exposure night-time shots, something I love doing. Had I had my camera, I probably would have spent a fair amount less time at the poker tables. Hah… who’m I kidding?

Thursday: Afternoon: Let’s Play

After checking into our nicely sized room (“It’s the desert, it’s not as if they’re lacking for space.”) at Treasure Island, we drop by the Mirage poker room. It’s a nice place, smoke free, not too noisy.

Jim plays a few short $3-6 Hold’em games while waiting for satellites. From about 17:00 to 17:50, Dina, Jim, and I play two $25 No Limit Hold’em satellites for entries into the night’s tourney… all sitting at the same table. We don’t do to well… I last the longest in both cases, but it’s a pathetic 6th and 8th on a table of 11. Playing with 300 chips and 10-15 blinds a bit foreign to me… I didn’t adjust well. It wasn’t really much fun. These are the last tourneys that Dina and I play for the trip.

To bust me out of the 2nd tourney, I raise my small blind of 50 to 75 all in. The big blind turns over a 2♦7♠ vs. my K♦3♥. I’m currently about a 2:1 favourite. 27oA two and a seven of different suits is the worst possible starting hand at Hold’em. The flop is K♠K♥x♠. I’ve got trips. I’m a big favorite. The only way that my opponent can win is they hit running ♠s for a flush. The odds against this are about 21:1 against (1 of 10 ♠s of the 45 unseen cards hitting on the turn, 1 of 9 remaining ♠s of the 44 unseen cards hitting on the river. Of course, since I’m telling you about this, obviously the ♠s hit.

Jim notes:

The 27o is not the worst hand heads-up; 23o is. 27o is the worst hand multi-way.

He actually has worse odds than you claim to suck out on you. Only 9 of the cards help him on the turn and 8 on the river since the 3♠ gives you a full.

The fun starts when we start playing the cash game. I play the $3-6 game from about 17:50 to 22:30 and lose about $207. I’m at a table without any of the gang, and it’s damn boring. I decide to liven it up… live straddles are legal in Vegas… (the floorperson tells Dina, who asked for me, “Of course it’s legal. It’s poker.” We didn’t tell him ’bout Atlantic City, where they aren’t allowed…) So… I live straddle. Good that comes from this: the table is looser, and some of it is having fun… the bad part… well…

Jim notes:

When we were in AC and trying to straddle, people kept asking if we were from Vegas… So we shoulda known they were legal in Vegas.

I raise my straddle blind. Some callers. Flop is AAA. Scary. I look. OK, I have a Q6. Not good, but decent kicker. I bet. Only one caller. Next card is a King. I bet. Call. Last card is another King. I play the board… thankfully, there is no way for him to beat me unless he has the last remaining Ace… Conversely, there is no way I can beat this guy… unless… I bet… maybe this guy is also a tourist and will fold, either thinking I have an Ace, or not realizing that we will both play the board. He raises. Oops. I call. He turns over an Ace. Oops.

Jim gets to the table soon after, and is frequently mouth agape as he watches me play. I am channeling Jim with the best of them. The problem is that when Jim does it, he’s a natural. I have to work really hard at it. 1 Michelob Ultra… or was it water? same diff…, 2 Rusty NailsScotch and Drambuie, and one Green Apple… think apple martini… make the task simultaneously slightly harder and slightly easier. Surprisingly, this isn’t the last time Jim will witness someone channeling Jim this weekend

One old lady decides to sit down. She watches the table while waiting for her blinds. When a seat opens to my left, she changes to it… it’s good to be to the left of loose, aggressive players, as I am now playing. Before it gets to her blind, she gets up to leave, with quotes like “I’ve played lots of cards, this isn’t cards, I’m leaving.” and “I’m 78 years old. I don’t need to go to the loony bin now.” Dina and Jim were in hysterics. I tilted someone off the table before they even started playing.

One tourist, who’d been there since Monday, said it was the most fun table he’d been at all week. Made me feel useful.

After the Quad Ace debacle, straddles go well. I take down some pots, by simply continuing to bet after the flop. Some hands are crap, and easy to get away from post flop. Then I get some really blind luck… on the hands where I’m playing blindBetting without looking at my cards.…

On one, I wimp out and look at what I live straddled with… OMGh… it’s QQ. I raise. I get a few callers as I announce that I have looked at my hand and that it’s a good one. They think I’m just showboating. Flop is 8TA. I bet, Jim calls. I don’t remember if anyone else does. The turn is a Q. I’m happy, I bet. When Jim raises, I know he has a KJ. I’m a bit dismayed that I don’t have the best hand as I thought I did about 5 seconds ago. I just call, but I feel that I will hit. I do. The river is an 8. I bet, grinning like a demon at Jim. He announces that he doesn’t believe that the 8 made my hand, and re-raises. I grin some more, tell him that I’ve got his ass beat, and re-raise. He looks at me, and he is already starting to fume. He calls. I turn over my QQ. The look on his face mirrors the one normally seen when Jim beats others like a rented red-headed-step-mule-child.

I don’t feel that bad for long though. One hand, when I’ve straddled and re-raised with a lot of callers, Jim is in. The flop is 553. Jim starts betting. I’m sure I’m the only one who has pegged him for a 53. I’m trying my absolute best not to say anything at all. The table can’t believe it when Jim turns his hand over after the river.

One more straddle. I announce that I’m not looking at my cards, and drop some chips onto them. I raise blind pre-flop. Flop is 335. Jim is out, so I have absolutely nothing to fear. I bet. One caller. Turn is a 5. I still have nothing to fear. I bet, one caller. River is a 7. I decide it’s time to look. I somehow have a pocket pair… 77. I bet. Call. I tell Jim he’s not going to believe this one, and turn over my 77. The other guy has A♦J♦. Despite the fact that I was ahead all the way, the table is still steamed.

Despite / because of my crazy play, I’m only down about $50. Well worth the entertainment, and better than I’ve been doing at the $3-6 game at Mohegan Sun. As I walk out of the Mirage, the Volcano is erupting.

Dina and Jim leave, with stern warnings to calm down a bit. I calm down, drink club sodas, the game becomes boring, and I vent $150 as I am no longer in control of the table. Oh well. It was fun playing table captain. I learned a few things about the psychological side of the game. I also learned how to get out of trouble in large pots… I guess I have a better understanding why Jim does well with his crazy style of play at times. My mad skillz are getting better.

Friday: Morning: TARGET Preparation

Friday morning, as I phone Daniel to ask him some questions, I look for my palm pilot… it takes me a while to figure out that it is also my phone…

The problem with Vegas is the problem that I have when something that is normally scarce is abundant. I don’t want to get up from the table because I feel it’ll be a long time before I sit down at a table again. As such, when I leave my hotel room, which is on the strip, I pack my pockets as if I’ll be gone the whole day. I decide not to wear my contacts, since I’m worried about them drying out. I can probably stroll to the hotel room, remove my contacts, and get back to the table without losing my seat.

We hit the buffet at the Mirage with some other TARGET players. It’s interesting listening to the stories about Vegas for us Vegas Virgins.

Friday: Afternoon: TARGET and Cash Game

Jim and Andy play in TARGET… neither win.

Meanwhile, in my second session of $3-6 Hold’em at Mirage, I’m up $78 from 12:00 to 13:00. I decide to play the dumb tourist, who’s tagging along with his poker playing friends. Despite the fact that I think I should take acting classes, it worked. I check first when I have the button preflop, and other times. I ask people to show me how to shuffle chips. Despite the fact that I can handle up to stacks of 22, I ‘practice’ with stacks of 6. I’d bet 6 on the flop. I’d bet 3 on the turn. I’d post 3 for the small blind, or 1 for the big. I asked some of the veterans what a chop of the blinds was. Every so often, I’d play a hand that looked pretty, but was easy to underestimate by novices. Sometimes, I’d just plain turn over crap. I played hands in a straightforward manner for the most part…

Yes, Erin, I do enjoy playing the groundling at times.

While I’m on the dumb tourist act, one of the people who witnessed the mad-ass act the night before sits immediately to my right. I figure I’m busted, so I don’t make any more overt dumb tourist moves, and do what I can to not to do anything that appears smart, experienced, or sophisticatedNo comments from the peanut gallery please.. Although she recognizes me, she doesn’t say anything. When her SO drops by, she quietly points me out to him… tells him that I’m the idiot from last night… I think he suggests she raise my blinds a lot… I think this is what was said… they may have been talking about something completely different. Once we get to talking, I’m reassured. She’d only played home games; the night before was her first night at the casino. Keri (sp?) and James are from Austin, TX, and is there with a bunch of her SO’s dot com friends. “Trilogy?” I ask. Yes. I tell her I know Josh and Micha through friends of mine. Small world.

For my last hand before we want to leave for the Bellagio, I prepare to straddle. She says “Please don’t straddle me.” I bite my tongueI have a friend who’d love to… Don’t worry, I’m safe, I’m married…. As it is, despite the full house potential on board, I have the nut flush, and the winning hand. I regret not straddling…

Friday: Afternoon: Bellagio

The Bellagio $4-8 game was pretty easy… 14:48 to 19:38, up $224.5, about 5 big bets per hour. A very respectable rate. Actually, the $30-60 game didn’t look that hard other than my unwillingness to play with that big a bankroll. The players were making plays that I didn’t comprehend… I was worried that, since any sufficiently advanced technology will appear as magic to the natives, They were playing over my head, at levels I haven’t conceived. Nope… they were just bad players. Next time I find a table that looks that soft at those limits, I’m sacking up and sitting down…

At the Bellagio $4-8 game, a nice hand, I’m first to act pre-flop. K♣J♣. I call. Someone after me raises. I call. Flop is JT4. I check. Raiser bets. I flat call. Turn is J. I check again. Raiser bets again. I flat call again. It’s heads up. River is another J. I now have quad Jacks, the nuts… no hand can beat me… This time I bet. We bang back and forth for 5 more bets. I turn over my cards. He turns over AA, and is steaming. He left after that hand. According to Jim and another guy at the table me re-checking my cards after every bet helped the guy continue betting. This is the second time that I get quads with 3 on the board, and my opponent insists on banging back and forth an inordinate number of times before calling. Good to know that I can fool bad players who don’t know me… Next I work on good players who don’t know me… eventually, I may progress up to good players who know me…

The Bellagio $4-8 game isn’t an exercise in fun. I think it’s a beatable game though. I’m not getting great cards, other than the one mentioned below. I’m calling down to the river and losing… I bet on the river and lose… I play too loose and pitter away 16 calling the turn and the river on a bunch of absolutely hopeless draws… I’m playing a little too loose… Yet, I’m still up a fair bit…

Andy watches me play and gives me some pointers on my limit game… I’m not sure I’ve completely absorbed them… in fact, even though I know he’s probably right, I still disagree, and need to convince myself of the reasoning behind his suggestions.

Have I mentioned yet that Andy is crushing every game he plays in. During my stint at the $4-8 table, Andy was crushing the $30-60 game to the tune of about $2,000 in two hours… $1000 an hour, or 17 big blinds an hour is pretty damn good. The $20-40 at the Mirage, and the $30-60 at the Bellagio contribute nicely to Andy’s bankroll. He’s up so much, he decides to enter one of the WSOP events at Binion’s, the $1500 Pot Limit Hold’em tournament.

There were some games for insane stakes going on at the Bellagio. $400-800 limit Stud, Omaha, and Hold’em. $50-100 Pot Limit Omaha High, which is about as big as a $500-1000 limit game. There were people I recognized, both from Poker on TV and as book authors playing. Some chip stacks were easily worth over $100,000.

Friday: Evening: Non-poker entertainment

Supper at the Garden Cafe in Harrah’s with Andy and Dina. Talked to Andy at supper about seat choice trade-offs. A lot of the books discuss where you want to sit compared to different types of players. They don’t seem to discuss the real world where you have to deal with up to 9 different styles of play. Do you give more weight sitting relevant to the aggressive players, or the passive players, the loose or the tight, the drunk?

Saw a comedy show at The Improv at Harrah’s, whose mascot is a fool in full motley… other than the fact that one of the comedians and the sound man were drunk (they may well have been the same person…) it was pretty good, though not exceptional.

Played Blackjack at the seen-better-days-and-attracts-men-in-wifebeaters Casino Royale with ‘bonus’ coupons that the casino gives out for getting their player card. At least they have cool looking chips. I was even, Dina was down $25, and Andy lost $200. The coupons are a great deal for the casinos. At one point, one of the more talkative guys, let’s call him Mr. Math, with an 8 and a 5 says to the dealer “Give me a seven.” Interesting that Mr. Math wants to hit to a 20. As a 10 falls, he notes “That’s a weird looking seven.” Later, he has a 13, the dealer has a 7 showing. He stands. Mr. Math’s friend has a 7. Friend hits a 6 to 13. Mr. Math suggests that friend hit, and he does. BTW, I don’t understand the camaraderie us vs. the dealer thing at the Blackjack table…

Played $20 worth of slots for someone with instructions for a single play through. Got $13.50 back. I don’t get the deal. Maybe if I actually won the BMW Z4 I would. I still think that the Z3 is a nicer car.

Back at the Mirage, Dina and I played some slots for ourselves. We’re down $9. Up $1 on the 1 penny slots, and down $10 on the $5 slots. I don’t get the big deal about slots. We mainly played the $5 to see if it felt any different… nope. We watched a couple playing the $100 slots as if it were 25 cent slots to us. Still don’t understand it.

Friday: End Of Day Observations

Been observing other people play. Many look at their cards too early. I’m surprised more people don’t look at the others as they look at their cards, or as the flop, turn and river fall. Some think ahead to figure out what they’re going to do in the most common situations, which speeds up their play, and makes them seem much more decisive and good. After observing this, I found that I was actually more effective as I was running through scenarios and factoring the personalities of the players into the mix.

What do I like about Vegas so far? It’s pedestrian friendly, clean, temperatures are nice, the air is crisp, and it’s simply pretty. From the point of view of someone who enjoys night time long exposure photography, it’s beautiful. Too bad I forgot my camera. On the other hand, that’s the strip. Prettiness and cleanliness fall away sharply as you walk even a block away from the strip.

The Bellagio and Mirage bathrooms had proper automatic faucets. The faucet reaches a fair way over the sink, so you don’t bump your hands against the back of the sink as you wash your hands. The sensor has a good range… if you move your hands in the sink, the water turns on. The faucet has a delayed off, so it doesn’t immediately shut off if you accidentally move your hands out of range of the sensor, or to reach for soap. Technological efficiency fascinates me…

We discuss one prize for a tourney that was your weight in silver, and noted that it was a hefty person who won. The line is set that silver is $20 an ounce. I take the over for $1. Jim takes the under. I fear that I made a bad betLooking up the price online today, silver seems to be about $4.50 an ounce.

It’s interesting to all of a sudden have a bit more respect for my own poker skills. Playing against really poor opponents helps your confidence a lot… you see all the mistakes that you’ve grown out of… who says that poker isn’t a game of skill?

Anyway… my goal for the trip is now:

1. To see if I am winning due to:
   • Blind luck.
   • Good table.
   • Good cards.
   • Some combination of the above.
2. To see if I can get the trip to pay for itself:
   • Good would be if I could pay for hotel and airfare.
   • Great would be if I could pay for above plus food, shows, etc.
   • Astounding would be If I could pay for above for both Dina and I.

   Needless to say, I’m simply aiming for good…

Saturday: Morning: Online In Vegas

I’m 10Xth in Paradise Poker’s WSOP Challenge. I may get into the 100 player tourney if some of the top 100 don’t show. I get internet access in the room, $20 from 12:00 to 11:59. Ouch. Even more ouch since I’m signing up at 08:30 and only get 3.5 hours of use. I don’t make it in… I lost the $20 bet.

Saturday: Afternoon: Binion’s

We head over to Binion’s downtown. It feels too old-school for me… it’s old, a bit dingy, and very, very smoky, both cigarette and cigars. The bathrooms are a bit gross… even by male standards…

Andy enters a satellite for the WSOP main event. Jim enters a couple of super-satellites, and then plays for cash. Meanwhile, Dina and I play the cash game.

I play the $4-8 game from 16:45 to 21:02 and lose $112. It’s not much fun. The second most interesting thing that happens is that two players almost come to blows…

The best hand is when I have AA. I bet, Jim calls. Flop is AKQ, with one ♦. I have top set, but fear the straight or straight draw. I bet, Jim calls. Turn is x♦. I bet, Jim calls, and is the only caller. River is T♦. I sigh in disgust, look at Jim, and say “You sucked out on me, didn’t you.” Jim smiles and says “yes.” I tell him I’m going to bet anyway, and do. Jim raises. I call, and throw my aces on the table in disgust. Jim looks, says nice hand, and mucks what he still claims to this day is a flush. I’m amazed, because I believe that he has a flush, and has accidentally mucked it, thinking that I have a full house. The dealer pushes the pot to me. Jim is fuming.

Andy has been kicking ass all weekend… maybe we should uninvite him from the home game. I watch him play a super satellite to the WSOP main event. He was super aggressive around the bubble… refused deals when down to 3 players… grinning like a maniac… big… big brass balls… my heart was thumping for him… most adrenaline I felt on the whole trip to Vegas. He finally finished 3rd in the super-sat as he ran his 4s into AKo with a K on the flop.

At the same time I’m watching Andy, I pay some attention to Chris Ferguson winning the $2000 Limit Omaha Hi-Lo 8 or Better. It was cool, but not as fun as watching a friend play.

The Freemont street experience was underwhelming. It also gave me a crick in my next. There is no good position in which to watch the show other than lying down on the ground. I was geeky enough to count the ‘pixels’ of vertical resolution. Overall, I don’t like the way the experience was put together. Cool, but could be much better.

By this time, late night Saturday, I’m in the mood for a good, long session at the table. Thankfully I get in a good session at the Mirage.

Sunday: Early Morning

I play $5-10 Omaha with a full kill from 00:00 to 00:27 and rake in $110.00. Not that interesting a game.

Then, I sack up, and play the $10-20 Hold’em game at the Mirage. It’s the first time I play for these limits. I play from 00:27 to 07:09 and rack up $507.

I start off well. My first 2 hands, in the bb and sb, are AKo… I don’t remember if they win or not though. My 4th hand is 35o, which Jim has been playing to full houses all weekend… I’m in early position so I fold… this one hits A355x… oh well.

After the 35o would have hit, a marginal hand that I decided to fold would have also hit big to a full house. Now, is it really 2 hands in a row that I would have won if I were in? If I played the 35o, my cards would have been mucked / given to the dealer differently, and therefore shuffled differently, giving me a different 5th hand.

The $10-20 game, although not difficult, was good… it felt like the Hold’em they describe in books… because it was a harder game, I played better… I regularly had the discipline to lay down top pair, bad kicker… usually a K or Q flush draw hitting on the flop and being bet into… In fact, I don’t think I ever folded that type of hand without someone actually showing down the better kicker… I wasn’t as efficient as I could have been… I probably wasted a good $200 or so playing ’til the river instead of folding on the flop.

Of course, you know this rational behaviour and play couldn’t go on forever… which is why the clockwork of the universe deemed it was time for Leslie to show up…

Leslie, also from the Austin, TX contingent, arrived, and really loosened up the table… I was up about $250 at that point, and was about to leave… The big blind was immediately to my right… I’d racked up my chips, and my ass had just lifted itself out of my chair… She barreled into the table, and started talking smack at a mile a minute… it looked like it was going to be soooo much fun that I stayed for another 3 hours… I dropped $200 almost immediately as the table went a bit crazy, but then straightened out… finally up $500 or so… the hands in the last ½ hour helped…

Leslie comes in and Jims the table. What was a relatively normal game is now loose. Capped 6-way pots pre-flop. She appears crazy like Jim… talks up a storm… and says all sorts of outrageous things… except that she chose her hands… I’m not sure if other people notice this… she gets lots of callers… Very assertive, very aggressive player… interesting watching her and Jim tilt the table from the other, calm end of the table… My next session at the Mirage, I’m hoping for Leslie to show so I can pad my bankroll, but to no avail.

In my 7 hour session, it took till the last hour to finally get KK, and the last ½ hour to get AA twice… the AA were both good. I also got QQ about 3 times… 2 were busted, 1 made a full and paid off well… I should have mucked the QQs much earlier once I knew they were bad, a theme that will come out a couple of times in later sessions. Didn’t have my favourite hand all session. The sun is shining when I leave.

My drinks of choice become carrot juice, strawberry julius, and “tomato juice with as much celery and as many olives as you can stuff into the glass”.

There is something ironic about a sexy waitress named Hope.

Sunday: Afternoon / Night

We buy a small stake of Andy in his WSOP event. Unfortunately, he busts out relatively early. We’re rooting for him next time.

Sunday during the day turns out to be a slow gambling day, since I got home from the Mirage session at 08:00. Woke up, relaxed a bit, and went with Dina to see her cousin that lives in Vegas. Had a nice, long lunch at Mon Ami Gabi at the Paris casino. Food was very good. Got home, napped, and then saw Cirque Du Soleil’s Mystère. It was very good, although I think that each successive Cirque Du Soleil show that I see, Saltimbanco, Dralion, Quadam, Mystère, are getting more and more showy, and less and less circusy… they are still awesome… just moving away from the style that I like.

Monday: Early Morning

Well, now I’m awake, so I plod off to the Mirage for another session at the $10-20. I play from 00:30 to 04:18, up $541.50. The table is good, but a bit tight. Although I can make money at the table, I’m looking around for Leslie, to loosen the game up. Nope. Can’t convince Jim to come and play either… he’s too tired, and prefers the $3-6 game… Note down that Jim resisted temptation, and that I was playing in a bigger game than he was… Oddly, I’m one of the tighter people at the table… Playing for stakes that have the potential to lose me lots of money have me playing about correctly, at least according to Jones’s starting hand selection. Again, playing in the $10-20 game makes Jones and Sklansky make much more sense.

At another table, $20-40 Hold’em, a drunk old man goes on a rush. He’s so drunk his wife is stacking up his chips. He’s raising every hand in a 20 hand stretch blind. He wins about 15 of them, including a full round of the table unbeaten… He leaves up about $2K.

I leave the $10-20 table, up big for the trip. I’m tired, but not yet playing badly… I figure it’s best to leave now before I crash, as I may not realize that I’m too tired to play by that time. As I walk out of the casino, I have a better appreciation for what people mean when they say that they have money burning holes in their pocket. I stare at some of the table games, which I know I shouldn’t play… I watch a craps game for 5 minutes. I start at an empty roulette table. I give the slots a second look. I leave the Mirage. I think about walking to a show, and realize it’s 04:30, and the only shows that will be on are at strip clubs… I even entertain that thought for a few minutes on the walk home… I go through the same routine at Treasure Island before I take the elevator to my room.

We need more poker friends, better poker skills, and a gimmick… I was thinking either Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy t-shirts, with “So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish”, or making “fish-finders” like one would find on a boat, that would point to the player of our choosing.

Monday: Day

Monday miraculously has some non-poker content. Where’s Jim? Not with us, not with Andy, not at the Mirage… We finally remember that he wanted to play tournaments at Mandalay Bay. We have him paged. After he plays a quick tourney at Luxor’s tiny, 5-table poker room, we watch him order 2 burgers, protein style, at In-N-Out Burgers. Then we pick up Andy at Binion’s downtown.

Once we all get on the same page, we take the car to the Stratosphere to ride on the Big Shot. You’re near the top of a 1,600 foot tower. You sit in the ride. You are shot the remaining 100 feet to the top of the tower, then bungee up and down for a while. The ride started in the middle of one of Dina’s sentences… pretty cool.

After a bit of Dance Dance Revolution, damn that’s a lot of exercise, we head to the Sahara to try the Speed Ride, ~45 seconds of non-stop thrills. It’s a forward and back roller coaster. The acceleration at the beginning is really quick. Go through one loop, and then shoot straight up a vertical portion of the track. Then backwards to the finish. One other tourist asks, “What if the brakes don’t work as you’re going straight up?” Thankfully I notice that the engineers have installed brakes at the top of the vertical, in case gravity doesn’t work.

Since I’m itching to play poker, I go back to the Mirage while the others walk around the strip and eat at the Bellagio buffet.

I’m at the $10-20 table again. Not as good a session, I play from 18:12 to 21:53 and go down $336. I get KK twice, and neither time goes well.

The first time, the board is 9♣T♣K♦5♥2♠. The pot is raised and re-raised preflop. On the flop. I bet, and someone raises. I re-raise, and get re-raised. I peg the raiser for QJ. Drat. There are 4 other callers. I’m assuming they are on straight or flush draws. At this point, I’m convinced that I have 10 outs. I mistakenly lead into the turn, and get re-raised by the original raiser. Still have 4 other callers. On the river, I check and call… I’m the only caller, as the turn and river don’t help anyone. Raiser turns over a QJo, as expected. Expensive. Not sure if I misplayed this hand or not. I don’t think so, but it sure feels like it when you lose that big a pot.

The second time I get KK, I raise someone’s straddle, and get 5 callers. The flop is A35. I bet, am raised, and there are 4 other callers before it gets to me. I figure one of the 5 has to have an A in order to be calling. I fold. Turn and river are 59. In the end, a pair of 8s beats a 46 draw for the pot. I’m really pissed off, am taking deep breaths and counting to 10 to avoid tilting. Did I play the hand badly? I don’t know. Maybe I should have called.

Jim Notes:

I don’t think it’s a mistake to lead at the 9TK5 board with 2clubs and top set. You and the QJ guy need to conspire to charge the club draws the right price. (One of you is enough to charge the AQ/AJ draws the right price… :) ) You two should make it two bets on the turn however you like and since you’re behind, you should initiate (otherwise, he can make it three). With 4 other callers, there’s either 5 or 6 players in [depending on what you mean by caller] You’re still way ahead with 10 outs (although you probably don’t really have 10 outs with that many callers since someone must have a piece of it to be calling.) Clubs don’t hurt you, but all the two-pairs, pair w/A, etc do. JJ, QQ, and AA also have some possible reasons to stick around and don’t hurt you. I don’t think you misplayed it at all, including the check/call on the river. It’s mandatory I think since the disaster of mucking to top-two or AK is so huge.

On the A35 hand, you need to call the raise on the flop. There’s enough in the pot for you to try to turn a set, even if you think there’s an ace out there… 23 small bets in and you need to call one to turn a set. Unless you’re SURE you’re against AA, you have the 45:2 against to call, since the pot is laying you 46:2. (Obviously, if you’re against 24, you also should muck, but that’s much less likely since Leslie and I aren’t there…)

All in all, it was a very frustrating session. Besides the KKs, I kept getting punished for my mathematically sound decisions on draws… I’d get there frequently when I folded to betting on the flop, especially on runner-runner draws. I only got there once when I decided to stay in, playing good straight, flush, or straight flush draws. At one point, I have AKs. Flop comes QJx, with 2 cards to my suit. I calculate that I have 12 outs, the 9 cards of my suit, plus tens. I call. Turn is a blank. I call again. River is a ten. Opponent checks. I do to. He turns over AQo. I think his pair of Qs beats my no pair. I turn over my AK in disgust. I’m thankful that I did that, as the dealer informs me that I have the nut hand.

AQo paid me off nicely about 3 times, either by an A or a Q falling on the flop. I am starting to understand the value of high cards better. Top pair top kicker, or top pair, good kicker are nice when the whole table isn’t calling you with nothing.

Wrap Up

Overall, I was up $766.50 at poker, and down $40.50 at other games, including a $25 piece of Andy in his WSOP tourney. That means that gambling + expenses other than hotel and flight on the trip came out even. Definitely worth it. Had a lot of fun, both at the poker table, and away from it… Good times with friends… and learned a lot about playing poker.

Playing $10-20 has added to my repertoire of favourite hands… notably, 2-7, 3-8, 2-8, 4-9 are now all nice to see… easy to play… not losing any money…

On a related topic, I seem to be getting a lot more garbage hands… maybe because I classify a lot more as garbage… I’m happy though… recognizing garbage correctly and folding it ASAP saves a lot of money. Notably, I’m learning that big + bad kicker, A-baby, K2-K8, Q2-Q8, J2-J8, suck since, if played, they will cost you a lot of money when they lose because of the kicker…

I learned a lot about the importance of table selection. My style of play lends itself better to games where people play mostly rationally… which is why I enjoyed myself much more at the $10-20 game than the $3-6… and I think it’s why I did better… I think that there were some higher games that would have been easier… if only because there were noticeably worse players there…

I’m happy that I got to play in the $10-20 game. I now feel comfortable at that level, even though I have a feeling that the tables were very easy this week due to all the side action at Binion’s. I think I’d actually feel comfortable at up to 30-60, although, it worries me that some pros / columnists play the game. I’m no longer scared of the players at the games, at least in Vegas, at properly chosen tables, and of the limits it entails. I’m a bit disappointed in myself for not playing in any pot limit games… On the other hand, the weekend was only so long, and I did only spend 31 hours and 3 minutes at the poker tables… Did I mention that I started keeping better notes?

Impressed with the dealers and the floor staff… They were knowledgeable and efficient.

There were fairly few lines laid. Next time we should determine them in advance, and let our friends get a piece of the action. Some lines:

Description	Line	Actual	Comments
Number of person-visits to strip clubs	0.5	0	I don’t think anyone actually took this bet.
Number of times Jim gets Heisman’d	25	<<25	Dina set the line and took the over. I took the under. I think Dina was sleep deprived, or colluding with Jim… Jim: Hey Dina, <wink /> <wink /> <nudge /> <nudge /> Dina: Go away. Jim & Dina: That’s 26. You lose your bet Nick.
Number of times Jim gets laid.	0.5	0	I gave Dina 7:1 odds against up to $5. As far as we know, I won. While discussing this at a buffet table, we had to come up with clarifications. Jim cannot pay for sex. No one else can pay for sex for Jim (other than the person Jim has sex with… ba-dum-dum) Sex must be consensual… (Jim Geary: “Oh, all the bets I’ve lost because of that damn no-rape clause.”) Someone: Does Dina win the bet if Jim has sex with a man. Me: Sure. Jim: Dina won’t win the bet that way. This is probably much more than you needed to know.
Litres of Diet Coke consumed by Jim	24	~20	Beer, water, and other beverages took up space. I won the under against Dina. Bellagio buffet accounted for ~3-4 litres, but still not enough to get there.
Number of times Jim / Dina tell each other “fuck you” / “fuck off”	1 / 3 hours together.	About that.	No one took the action.

Next time we need to bet how long we last at tourneys if we’re all in the same tourney.

Yes Dina, you were right, I liked Vegas. I’m already planning for September.