Random Traffic Through Nick's Brain

Because I’m oddly bored.

Have you ever…

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
   Late in the night when only friends were left.
2. Swam with wild dolphins
   Not yet.
3. Climbed a mountain
   Climbed all the way to the top of one? No. Walked part way up one.
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
   Nope. Never at the right intersection of desire and money.
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
   Yes. Wish I had more time alone in there.
6. Held a tarantula
   No. Someday.
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
   Yes, despite the fact that I don’t like long baths.
8. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
   Yup.
9. Hugged a tree
   A redwood no less.
10. Bungee jumped
    On the list of things to do.
11. Visited Paris
    Many times. Even proposed to Dina there.
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
    Oddly, no.
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
    Many times. More since Alex was born.
14. Seen the Northern Lights
    On the list of things to do.
15. Gone to a huge sports game
    Huge? Saw the Grey Cup one year.
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
    Someday.
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
    Does it count if I helped my parents grow them?
18. Touched an iceberg
    Seen, yes. Touched? Really? You can do that?
19. Slept under the stars
    Yes. Oddly therapeutic.
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
    Too many times, and he’s barely a month old.
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
    In two different countries.
22. Watched a meteor shower
    Leonids.
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
    I’d rather do it on Asti.
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
    No. I don’t give enough.
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
    Not that I can remember. I should.
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
    Not quite at the worst… but definitely at awkward times.
27. Had a food fight
    Yup. At Tim Horton’s, among other places. Does throwing rice at Rocky Horror count?
28. Bet on a winning horse
    No.
29. Asked out a stranger
    You kidding?
30. Had a snowball fight
    In 4 different countries.
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
    A couple of times… in pain.
32. Held a lamb
    No. Much prefer to eat them.
33. Seen a total eclipse
    In Egypt. Wasn’t as dark as I thought it’d be. It was a lot cooler though.
34. Ridden a roller coaster
    Yup.
35. Hit a home run
    Does video game baseball count? Dating?
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
    I think that’s pretty much the only way I can dance.
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
    No… but coincidentally, I dreamt I did last night.
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
    Lots of times.
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
    Only two?
40. Visited all 50 states
    No. Rather visit countries now. Maybe when I’m older.
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
    Held hair, helped undress, etc.
42. Had amazing friends
    Still do.
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
    Back in the day.
44. Watched wild whales
    Yes… and watched friends get sick on the boat.
45. Stolen a sign
    Aided and abetted.
46. Backpacked in Europe
    Not quite the whole experience, but travelled to a couple of EU countries with only a backpack.
47. Taken a road-trip
    Maritimes.
48. Gone rock climbing
    In a rock gym. Bah.
49. Midnight walk on the beach
    Yes… I just can’t remember when.
50. Gone sky diving
    Most. Adrenaline. Ever.
51. Visited Ireland
    Oddly, no. Why Ireland though?
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
    A couple of times. I think it takes a while for me to get over loss of potential.
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
    Hmmm… why would I want to do that.
54. Visited Japan
    Yes. Loads of fun. Why Japan though?
55. Milked a cow
    No. Might be fun though.
56. Alphabetized your cds
    Do you know me?
57. Pretended to be a superhero
    I pretend my son is.
58. Sung karaoke
    Many times. Always badly.
59. Lounged around in bed all day
    Yes. Oddly, having a kid and no job has brought those days back.
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
    Posed? Well… I posed for a picture at a nude beach… does that count?
61. Gone scuba diving
    No. Dina wants me to.
62. Kissed in the rain
    Yes.
63. Played in the mud
    In the mud. With the mud.
64. Played in the rain
    One of my favourite things to do. Hopefully my kid[s] will like it too.
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
    Oddly, no. I want to for the experience more than anything else.
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
    No. No interest… though I figure someone’ll drag me there some day.
67. Started a business
    Does writing shareware count?
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
    Yes. Either through ongoing relationships or by falling out of love.
69. Toured ancient sites
    One of my favourite things to do.
70. Taken a martial arts class
    Judo. I hope to take more in the future.
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
    Duh. I actually miss playing D&D;
72. Gotten married
    Duh.
73. Been in a movie
    Home only.
74. Crashed a party
    Among others, crashed the wedding reception next door to ours.
75. Gotten divorced
    No.
76. Gone without food for 5 days
    Only water? No.
77. Made cookies from scratch
    Yes. Baking isn’t my strong point.
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
    Not the creative type that way.
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
    Twice with a total of 3 beautiful women.
80. Gotten a tattoo
    Still have it somehow.
81. Rafted the Snake River
    The where?
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
    No. I’ve been in a newspaper as man on the street though.
83. Got flowers for no reason
    There’s always a reason.
84. Performed on stage
    Many a time.
85. Been to Las Vegas
    Ditto.
86. Recorded music
    All four parts of Canon in D, on saxophones… my own arrangement.
87. Eaten shark
    Yes. It wasn’t cooked that well.
88. Had a one-night stand
    Having to stand up all night? Yes.
89. Gone to Thailand
    No. Like China, I’m sure I’ll be dragged there eventually.
90. Bought a house
    Have you seen the housing market here?
91. Been in a combat zone
    Been in an area of town called the Combat Zone. Been in combat zones that are no longer active. As for the definition of a combat zone? I’ve been less than a mile away when an IRA bomb went off in London.
92. Buried one/both of your parents
    No.
93. Been on a cruise ship
    Yes. I liked it a lot more than I thought I would.
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
    At one point, I was up to 3.
95. Performed in Rocky Horror.
    Doesn’t the whole audience perform? But yes, as a virgin.
96. Raised children
    Working on it.
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
    Only for one concert :-)
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
    No.
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
    We’d planned to do that this last June. Life got in the way.
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
     City. Country. Continent.
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
     Only driven. Is walking it that good?
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
     Always.
103. Had plastic surgery
     Nope. Don’t need it. :-)
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.
     Unless you think crashing into a brick wall with a bike without a helmet should be fatal, no.
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
     Depends on your definition of large.
106. Lost over 100 pounds
     I hope that’s never feasible.
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
     No.
108. Piloted an airplane
     Yes. Thank you J.
109. Petted a stingray
     Yes. Wasn’t that fun actually. they were more fun to look at then pet.
110. Broken someone’s heart
     Yes. I still feel guilty about it even though the breakee has probably long moved on.
111. Helped an animal give birth
     I fed the fish… does that count?
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
     No.
113. Broken a bone
     No. Sometimes I think that means that I haven’t pushed myself hard enough.
114. Gone on an African photo safari
     Someday.
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
     No. Nothing below my neck I want to decorate in that way.
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
     Only in arcades.
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
     Yes. My grandmother gathered them at the country house. I got sick. They also didn’t taste that good.
118. Ridden a horse
     Yes. The first time I did I was thrown. I remember being on the horse, and being on the ground in a fair bit of pain.
119. Had major surgery
     No.
120. Had a snake as a pet
     Yup. So cool. Even if it was only a grass snake.
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
     Haven’t seen it other than flying over it.
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
     In high school, I tended to sleep before exams instead of studying. One year I slept 17 hours before math and 15 hours before Physics.
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
     Easily
124. Visited all 7 continents
     Not yet.
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
     Yup. Wonder how our canoe-camping friends are going to deal with children.
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
     Really? Now that I know about it, I definitely want to try.
127. Eaten sushi
     All the time.
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
     Yes. And no namby-pamby student newspaper either.
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
     Yes. See one of the later items.
130. Gone back to school
     Yes, much to many people’s surprise.
131. Para-sailed
     Scared of the water, not the height.
132. Petted a cockroach
     As in squashed… yup.
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
     Don’t get the allure.
134. Read The Iliad and the Odyssey
     Cliff Notes.
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school and read
     Ongoing project.
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
     Fish.
137. Skipped all your school reunions
     Well… my school is lame wrt reunions… so yes.
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
     That was fun.
139. Been elected to public office
     No.
140. Written your own computer language
     I doubt file formats count as a computer language.
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream.
     Yes… including when sober.
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
     No.
143. Built your own PC from parts
     I’m a software geek.
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
     I’m not the artistic one in the family.
145. Had a booth at a street fair
     Not my scene.
146. Dyed your hair
     Red, yellow, green, blue.
147. Been a DJ
     Only in my own living room.
148. Shaved your head
     All the time.
149. Caused a car accident
     Caused is a strong word.
150. Saved someone’s life
     Yes. But I didn’t realize it at the time.

Spammers insert unusual words into their messages in an attempt to bypass filters. Even though my spam filter works so I only see the subject lines, I run across a word or two a week that I didn’t previously know. Still not worth receiving spam though.

Dina: I love you.
Nick: ???
Dina: I know you love me. You left the toilet seat up.
Nick: ???
Dina: I realized you’re now leaving the toilet seat up because you’re really tired. That means that before you were making an effort to put the toilet seat down. Thank you.

Somehow, this seems to embody the essence of a working relationship.

… or to observe a personality trait.

Foo says that I remind her of Bar in ways both good and bad… mostly bad. This used to bug me no end. I don’t think I’m like Bar, at least not that I’ve observed. Also, I don’t particularly like the facets of Bar that I have seen.

It bugs me less after a few realizations. Foo isn’t necessarily right. She’s just seeing what she wants to see… (in the case of good traits) or is scared of seeing (in the case of bad ones). Additionally, Foo sees this side of me when others don’t because she provokes these traits. The traits that she finds so distasteful are a natural reaction to her personality.

I feel much better now.

• Tear ducts coming online.
• Mucous produced by nose.
• When envisioning fatherhood, I never thought I’d be fingerpainting my son’s ass with diaper rash cream.
• I never wanted to become one of those parents who talks about their kid all the time. I still don’t want to be one. But I find that if I’m staying at home with Lex, I don’t have much else to talk about. Also, Lex is pretty much the only thing people ask me about.

• Dina, Alex, Dan, Erin, Ogden (P)
• Mom, Dad, Grandma, Mom, Dad, Diane, Lauren, Marc, Chris, Michael (T)
• V, Hannah, Steve (C)
• Dan, Erin, Ogden, Jim, Smooth, Yumi, Heather (G)
• V, Mylyne (E)
• Mario, Noemi, Victor, Joanne, Matt, Sarah, Cally, Dana (B)
• Katie (R)

Everyone seems to be asking for photos of Alex.

I frequently joke with Dina about Lex’s internal dialog. A combination of Look Who’s Talking and Stewie from Family Guy.

Today my captors have decided to use torture to get me to talk. First they stripped me naked. Then they put me in a stainless steel room with no ceiling and hosed me down.

OK… the ones I come up with when I’ve had more than 4 hours sleep are funnier.

• Dina is pretty much down to her pre-pregnancy weight. Pretty impressive for a month after Lex was born. Best thing is, she isn’t even doing much to achieve that. A walk with Lex every 2nd day or so. Eating healthy, but still eating a lot to keep up with breastfeeding.
• Lex now tracks faces pretty reliably, moving both his eyes and his head, when he’s interested.
• Lex can hold his head up a little bit. I think he needs more tummy time.

Maid came and went. Actually, maids. The first visit our maid brings a helper. The place is cleaner than it’s been in a long while, but I’m not sure I’m happy…

Before I start though, a follow-up to my previous post about resisting cleaning before the maid cleaned. I’m not the only weirdo in our household. Got a phone call from the maid saying she was on her way. The next time I turn around, the bed was made, for the first time in months, in preparation for the maid’s visit.

• They moved our bed, and didn’t move it back. If you’ve seen our bed, and seen our maids, you’d be as surprised as I was that they moved it in the first place. This was the most glaring example of things that were moved and not quite put back in the same place. Another example, Dina complained about magazines that were closed, losing her spot.
• They broke part of the bed. Worse, they didn’t tell us about it. It could’ve easily fallen off and bonked one of us on the head. Scary since the peice is the size of Alex. I had to use wood glue to secure the piece. The fact that they didn’t tell us still bothers me. That may be the reason not to bring them back.
• They removed some ‘features’ of our apartment, such as our makeshift toothbrush holder.
• Another feature they removed was some of the paint in the shower.
• The bedroom light didn’t work until I tweaked it a bit.
• They didn’t clean the oven.
• They cleaned the fridge, but did a bad job.
• I didn’t learn much about cleaning, mostly because I was too busy watching Alex, or downstairs to avoid the smell of all the products they used. I think the main thing I learned / was reminded of is that using a lot of rags makes the cleaning easier / quicker.

She’s coming back in three weeks. We’ll decide then.