Random Traffic Through Nick's Brain

In response to the comments in the Bad Parenting entry, I was going to write this up as an actual code loop…

while (X.IsCrying) {
	// Check for immediate environmental issues
	if (X.IsInPain) {
		// ...
	} else if (X.IsHot) {
		// ...
	}
}

… but getting the formatting right is too much of a pain. Besides, it may make sense to a computer, but it’s a lot easier to read if I just use a bulleted list.

The main thing to remember about getting X to stop crying is that it is a loop. There may be more than one thing ‘wrong’ with X, or correcting something my unleash another reason to cry.

1. Pain / Hot / Cold? Check immediate environmental factors and fix them. So far we’ve been lucky: he’s only been cold once. A night, if he Houdini’s himself out of his swaddling he’s fussy until we tuck his limbs back in.
2. Hungry? Feed him. Lately he’s at the stage where he can delay hunger gratification for a bit (or, we’re better at recognizing hunger signs early).
3. Gassy? Burp him. This may take time and many different burping positions (shoulder, sitting up, over knee).
4. Poopy? Change him (he tends to go easier in a clean diaper). Massage stomach. Massage back. Bicycle legs. Tummy time. Sadly, I couldn’t come up with a better word than poopy.
5. Pacifier? Give him one. It may take up to 30 seconds before he calms down enough to accept it. Mind you, he rarely cares for a pacifier and lately it doesn’t even keep him quiet as we warm up milk.
6. Understimulated? Play with him. Put on some music. Give him some play time in his crib or with his Gymini. He’s now at the stage where he really enjoys playing in his Gymini and can stay there up to a ½ hour, contentedly flailing, kicking, and cooing. Make faces at him. Talk to him. Rattle toys in front of him. Have him ‘stand up’ and ‘dance’. ‘Roughhouse’ with him. Exercise him or exercise with him. Put him in his bumbo and let him watch you doing an interesting task. Put him in his bumbo and turn on the TV.
7. Needs movement? Walk with him. Carry him. Bounce him. Dance while holding him. Put him in his sling. Put him in his car seat. Go for a drive with him. Put him in his stroller. Put him in his vibrating / bouncing / musical chair.
8. Overstimulated? Sadly, this can easily be confused with understimulated. Remove as much stimulus as possible. Cocoon him. Swaddle him. Turn down the lights. Put on some calm music. Talk or sing softly to him. Go through a lot of the items in the previous step.

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