These are the things they don’t tell you before you have your first child. They probably don’t because they fear for the survival of the human race.
- Though they tell you you’ll change the baby 8-12 times a day they don’t tell you that you’ll end up using 12-16 diapers. Lex decides that the best time to go to the bathroom is while you’re cleaning him or just after you’ve just cleaned him, but have yet to secure the new diaper.
- Though they warn you about covering up little boys while changing them (Dina calls Lex “the super-soaker”), they don’t warn you about projectile poo.
- Babies will spit up through their nose. Babies will spit up while nursing.
- Babies can burp and fart as loud as most adults.
- The ‘novelty’ of a feeling your little one poo (in his diaper), pee (ditto), spit up (onto a ‘burp’ cloth), burp, and fart, all while in close contact with you wears off after about 3 weeks.