I used to be spartan, both materially and socially. Materially, I just didn’t want to have too many possessions. Simple is better. Less clutter. Less schtuff. Less materialism. Socially, no matter how much I enjoy their company people, even friends, wear me out.
Spartanness used to be simple. Materially, I was a poor starving student and I moved a lot. Socially, as an introverted geek with poor social skills I didn’t naturally make many friends, both because I shied away from them, and because, well, I sucked at it.
Things have changed. I’m working. I’ve made efforts to improve my social skills… yes people… this is the socially ept version of Nick. You can imagine how bad the previous version was. As a result, I’m accumulating shtuff and friends. Sometimes this dismays or troubles me.
Materially, we have too much shtuff. Our apartment is packed. So is the basement. It’s hard to get rid of shtuff once you have it. You grow attached to it (remember, we got that candle-holder when we were in Whitby.) It’s might be useful someday (we have over 10 vases from the flowers I’ve given Dina over the years). My frugal side thinks it’s a shame to get rid of something that’s not truly trash-worthy.
Socially, our calendars are full, even when we attempt to keep them relatively empty. Each individual interaction is fun. My friends are my friends for good reason. Overall though, our lives feel frantic. I don’t have time to recharge. Friends are even harder to get rid of than possessions, no matter what I do… most of my friends tend / need to be pretty forgiving people. I also am more attached to them than I am to our shtuff.
Where does this leave me? I don’t know. I’ve been wrestling with this topic for a while now.
- At some point, we need to have a yard sale. We were planning one for this spring, but Alex is taking up a lot of our time. Or we need to move… moving is great for divesting oneself of one’s possessions. Or we need to buy a house (which kinda implies a move)… we can really figure out whether all the things we’re saving for ‘when we have a house’ will actually be used as we plan.
- We need to be more selective in both who and what we let into our lives.
- Maybe I need to not hold on so strongly to people who are drifting out of our lives. Unsure if this is the right thing, as I’ve always believed you attempt to nurture your friendships as best you can.