For some reason, this trip report isn’t flowing out as much as others do. I think this may be for the same reasons that I generally don’t take pictures in Amsterdam, despite the serene beauty of the city.
Went to Amsterdam a couple of weekends ago with Jim, Smooth, Hannah, Steve, Sheffi, and Ben. A very good trip, despite being very different from previous trips to Amsterdam. I figure I should write a little bit about it before it fades into good memories.
Thursday
Left Thursday evening on the red-eye. Despite comfy exit row seats, I was unable to sleep for more than about 90 minutes. Ugh. Sleeping is getting more and more difficult of late. What’s up with that?
Friday
Arrive at Schipol, breeze through passport control, get train tickets. The fact that I’m in Amsterdam only tends to hit me once I get onto the train platform. The train ride itself is quietly relaxing as it usually is. Jim asks “What is the biggest city not near a navigable waterway.” Unfortunately, I start thinking aloud, starting with big cities on the pacific rim. In retrospect, sure… starting with “Tokyo, no…” wasn’t that great an idea. It earned snickers from Jim, Smooth, and the stranger sharing a bank of 4 seats with us. “Las Vegas” earned me outright laughter and scorn from said stranger. Oh well.
Off to meet Hannah and Steve at Barney’s. Barney’s is nice, but the staff isn’t as friendly as it used to be. Also doesn’t feel as Irish as it used to. Guess I can’t expect places to freeze in time just because I don’t visit them for a while. I had that feeling about Amsterdam as a whole… the first time I visited was 10 years ago.
After that, we wander a bit. We find an Irish bar, not at all difficult, they’re everywhere, and have a beer for St.-Patrick’s Day. Off to the hotel to meet Sheffi and Ben. We all take a quick nap… except for Steve, who wanders around taking pictures.
For supper we have conveyor-belt sushi at Zushi, just around the corner from our hotel. Smooth had picked out some restaurants he wanted to visit. Made the trip different. Normally I just wander around, have kebabs for supper, or duck into an Argentinian steak house, or Indonesian restaurant.
Anyway… at Zushi, we were “those guys”. Sheffi and Ben ordered sake bombs… which I thought was just dropping shots of sake into a glass of beer, and drinking it. Boy was I ever wrong. Sake bombs involve:
- Leave enough empty volume in beer glass to accommodate volume of sake plus sake cup. Fill rest of volume with beer.
- Place chopsticks slightly less than sake cup base width apart on top of beer glass.
- Balance sake cup, full of sake, on chopsticks.
- At the top of your lungs, in a family restaurant, so that everyone, and I mean everyone, stares, scream: 1… 2… 3… sake bomb!.
- Slam table with fist, causing sake to fall into beer, and beer to fly everywhere despite precautions in step 1.
- Chug beer and sake combination.
Meanwhile, the waitress, who some travellers maintain was the cutest female we saw on the trip, brings us more beer.
Waitress brings new bottle of beer and clean glass to the table. Notices Anon already has a glass.
Waitress: Do you want the bottle and the glass, or only the bottle?
Anon: Only the bottle.
Waitress sashays away. Eyes follow waitress. … …
Nick: Only the bottle?
After supper, we wander aimlessly, and marvel at the city. Why do water and lights make things so pretty?
Saturday
We wake up and wander. Since we only had 3 cell phones between us, coordination was sometimes difficult. Starting times in the mornings were especially waitful. Thankfully, I was on vacation… though intellectually I noticed that it was taking us time, mostly, I didn’t care. I didn’t even whip out my trusty sci-fi novel to while away the time. A couple of times, when I got somewhere early, or I felt that others would be somewhat late, I went for a quick mile or two mile jog.
Back to the wandering. We wander to find a place for breakfast. A bit difficult when there are 7 people with varying tastes and levels of hunger. Some of us, your humble narrator included, get a bit whiny at times. We finally find a place near central station. Breakfast is good. Pancake, bacon, mushrooms.
Jim and Smooth wander off to experience Amsterdam. The rest of us visit the Stedelijk Museum of Modern Art’s temporary location. It’s normal home is under renovation. The exhibit was disappointing. Some of the things were interesting. The video games exhibit had some promise. One was various ways of committing suicide in games. Interesting at first, boring once you realized that you can jump off something, jump into something, or land on a grenade. Another one was clips from someone playing Grand Theft Auto, I think it was called ‘Choice’. Some of the clips had angry music with the main character going on typical Grand Theft Auto style rampages. Other clips had peaceful music playing in the background while the character drove around, stopping at lights, opening doors for people, riding a bike, hang gliding, looking out over the beautiful scenery, etc.
I think part of my problem with modern art is that society hasn’t had time to sift out the timeless art from the flash in the pan. The OK from the truly good. It hasn’t been filtered through centuries of perception and criticism. So, you get some good things. Then you get stuff that seems pretty crappy. Some crappy bad. Some crappy in that it isn’t even strong enough to provoke a reaction. Yes, this is subjective.
We meet up and head out to a bar for a snacky-lunch, beer, Rugby (England vs. Ireland) and Football (Tottenham vs. ???). For some reason, rugby made much more sense this time around. Again, not the way I would have normally spent an afternoon in Amsterdam, but somehow, it just plain worked. It was loads of fun, some of the most fun I’ve had watching sports since the Pat’s last won the Superbowl.
For supper, Mexican. Another restaurant Smooth researched. Jim, Sheffi, and I give up on waiting for a table and wander. We get a quick meal of fries at a greasy-spoon. Afterwards, we wander through the red light district, eventually settling down to play pool at Dread Rock for a few hours. Good fun.
Sunday
After a quick breakfast we head to the Rijksmuseum. It, also, is undergoing renovations, so only the masters collection is on display. Unfortunately my second favourite painting, The Threatened Swan isn’t on display. Instead, there is a mini-exhibit of paintings that may have been painted by either Rembrandt or his pupils. After all these years, I’m still not sure I like the painting of the swan. All I know is that it provokes a reaction in me.
Ben heads off to the Van Gogh Museum while the rest of us wander along the shopping drag into Dam Square. We stop for a drink at the bar… and stay there for hours. The beer was awesome. Run of the mill Dutch beer… yet very tasty. We ordered bitterballen and other bar food. The bar staff let us behind the bar to pick the music that would play. At one point, they even put on a little song and dance number for us. At one point, we were all singing together, hands on shoulders, swaying to the music. Possibly the most fun I’ve ever had in a bar.
Supper is at Akitsu. S-l-o-w service. At first they have no menus for us. Then they only have one. When our food comes, it comes one plate at a time. I end up eating my sashimi special after everyone else has finished eating. On the other hand, the toro is to die for.
We split up. Ben, Hannah, Steve, and Smooth head to Karaoke in the Leidesplein. Jim, Sheffi, and I head for dessert at Chocolata. Dutch chocolate is the bomb. Then we wander. At one point, one of the guys suggests a sex show. I’ve been to one before, and didn’t find it that interesting, other than the fact that people are on stage, going at it, ‘just for you’. Feels like a Dogbert, dance-for-your-dictator type moment.
For €35, we get 4 stripteases and 3 couples. The stripteases are a bit more raunchy than American ones, involving dildos, a2m with beads, and audience members eating a banana out of the stripper. The couples are more into it than previous couples I’ve seen. Some actually gave the impression of being romantically involved people doing this as a job together, as opposed to two professionals who are scheduled opposite each other.
It’s getting boring… Sheffi is so bored he starts playing games on his Treo until the bouncers quickly come and have a word with him. They fear it’s a camera. Then things get interesting. The stripper needs another volunteer. The last time she wanted volunteers for the banana eating, it took her about 10 to 15 minutes to get one from the audience. She singles out an American who’s out with a bunch of his friends. She says to him that all he has to do is sit on a chair. He reluctantly agrees, possibly so we don’t all have to wait another 15 minutes for the show to continue… it’s late after all… about 01:45. She sits him down on the chair, and after stripping, starts removing his top. The American was not a happy camper. Though I can’t normally lip read, phrases like “oh no” and “you’ve got to be kidding” were clear as day. As the finale, the stripper made her victim lie on the floor and wrote “THE END” on his torso with the marker held in her pussy. Pretty good hip movement, I have to say.
Monday
Monday is wrap up day. Not much happens. We have a quick breakfast, and meander to Central Station for the train back to the plane back home.
Wrap Up
Some words and phrases that the Americans wanted to bring back home, gleaned from the Brits:
- Cuntsponge. We had to explain ‘douchebag’ to Steve. Apparently not commonly used in England.
- More by luck than judgement. Steve said this after a great beer pour by a drunken Smooth, who’d already spilled beer twice at that meal.
- Mate.
Most everyone got along. I was really worried about the group dynamics of the trip. Lotsa different ages, backgrounds, and personalities. I was floored at how well everyone got along. A comment in wrap-up email summed it up:
You guys totally rock, I loved hanging out with you, and I am so pleased that Nick’s taste in friends has remained consistently excellent.
I’m glad I got to share the trip with a bunch of great friends.