Every trip to Vegas is a snowflake.
This particular one crystallized due to Sean’s bachelor party.
Thursday
Jim and I had decided to fly out a day early, and leave a ¼ day later in
order to get some poker in.
Made it a point to sleep on the plane.
Arrived in Vegas at 21:00.
Poker: 10-20 Hold’em
First session of the trip wasn’t good.
Played 10-20 Hold’em at the Mirage.
In fact, unless otherwise stated, all poker was played at the Mirage.
Started at 22:00, ended at 03:40, down $1,327.
Cards just weren’t there for me.
I was playing tight.
When I had a hand, the river would drown me.
When I did get a good hand, there were monsters under the bed lurking to kill me.
Left the poker table with Jim still there, and went to bed.
At some point here, played about $25 worth of slots (it’s interesting to note that
I assume that I will lose all the money I put in on slots).
Played a bit of Blackjack and went up $15.
Friday
Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head.
Poker: 10-20 Hold’em
Jim was still at the same table I left him.
I sat down at said table at 09:56.
Jim left at about 11:30.
I left the table at 14:41 up $300.
Took a nap from about 15:00 to 18:30, then resumed poker.
A short stint from 18:50 to 19:01 at the 2-5 No Limit Hold’em game cost me $32
as I folded my 99 on the flop to someone’s bad bluff.
Would have tripled up had I called instead. I was new to
the table and didn’t have a read on either participant in the pot.
Poker: 20-40 Hold’em
Sat down at a 20-40 Hold’em table.
From 19:01 to 00:41, lost $795.
Was doing well (up a few hundred) until a run where my pocket pairs,
kings a couple of times, and jacks 4 times, got clobbered.
My 20-40 play wasn’t bad, but I think I still have a hole where
I think of the big bets as money instead of chips. Working on that.
Chatted extensively with a poker pro, Zach while at the 20-40 table.
He gave me some tips, how to tweak my table appearance, how to
spot the sharks, what to worry about.
He seemed to concur with my opinion that my play, though not great,
was acceptable to good, and that the deck just seemed to be going
against me. Maybe that’s what the pros say to the tourists to make
them give away more money.
Odd Worm For The Early Bird
So, 1 day of earliness to Vegas cost me $1,864.
On the upside, I feel my poker play is getting better, and I’m also noting room
for improvement. The 10-20 Hold’em game still doesn’t scare me, and
the 20-40 game, though still a little scary, is tractable.
As steep as the losses seem at the table, they seem within acceptable variance.
Bachelor Party Starts
At this point, the rest of the bachelor party, including bachelor-boy Sean, arrived.
Met them after room check in and headed off to FatBurger.
As usual, we tossed around the idea of getting a franchise.
At FatBurger, we twisted Sean’s elbow and ended up at a strip club.
While waiting for our cab, we went to Hawaiian Marketplace and got
one of those yard drinks. It was difficult for the 8 of us combined
to polish it off.
Point of note: people were punching me on my left shoulder on Saturday, 04:00 Boston
time. 44 hours after my injections. It felt like a normal punch on the shoulder.
I’m getting used to the allergens. Yeah!
Strip Club I
The strip club, the Spearmint Rhino, was mostly uninteresting (well… uninteresting
to me).
Dearth of redheads.
The dancers had no hips to speak of, eewww.
Too much silicon.
The club reeks of cigar and cigarette smoke.
The most interesting thing was watching a female patron enjoy an enthusiastic
lap dance from one of the strippers.
One of the guys in our party who had a private lap dance talked to one of the strippers.
Apparently they fly in from where ever they live (in this case, New Jersey) for the weekend,
make about $5K, then go back home. $200K-$250K a year for weekends seems like a decent wage.
Dream
Bailed on the strip club early, leaving Sean in Jim and Jeff’s capable hands.
Went to bed at about 04:30.
and had some of the oddest, most vivid dreams I’ve ever had.
It included releasing three magic plants to shore up the world, which accidentally released
a fourth malevolent one. So we had to undo all that. Then there was some social politics
air-clearing as one of the older dancers at Tech gave another older dancer a piece of her
mind. This included berating her for the liberalness with which she distributed penicillin,
yet didn’t distribute dancing evenly.
Then there was a bit of time-travel / love interest stuff where some ever-shifting female
amalgam finally settles down into being Dina, who, has to go through a transition that’s
instantaneous for me, but takes years for her (sounds like how we started going out actually).
Then, once that was all cleared up, we had to send the fairies back home.
We chartered a limo, but had to get the driver and his assistant to dress up as clowns
so the fairies would agree to ride in the limo.
Once their task was done, we considered hiring them full time, erasing their memory, or
killing them.
Saturday
Wonderful start to the morning as Josh gets a phone call at 08:30 and proceeds to
babble with his brother in his non-indoor voice. Have I mentioned that I’m even more
of a grump in the morning?
Demolition Poker: 3-6 Hold’em
So, since I’m awake, I head down to Imperial Palace’s new poker room. It’s tiny,
obviously there to let people who are jumping on the TV-spurred poker bandwagon
get their feet wet.
I obliterated the 3-6 Hold’em table. I sat down at 10:30 with $100.
Got up at 11:33 with $505. It was probably the most enjoyable hour of
poker I’ve ever played. The table was on full on tilt, with all the
money sliding toward my stack. $400 in $1 chips is huge.
I decided to set the tone by being stupid aggressive.
Raising as much as I could.
Sometimes the cards were good and I won.
Sometimes I quietly folded some time post-flop… it’s amazing how much people don’t remember
your folds.
Sometimes I lost showdowns, but this was rare.
The dealer is happy I’m at the table.
First, I think she’s finding what’s happening to the table fun and amusing.
More importantly, as I tip her after winning my first hand, she notes that
it’s the first tip she’s received all morning. I give her another chip, hoping
that the rest of the table notices that one should tip one’s dealer.
Sadly, for the dealer, not for my bankroll, many of the players are thick and
don’t get the hint.
The tilting starts when I’m under the gun for the first time.
I live straddle.
The move needs to be explained to some of the people at the table.
Some of them don’t understand it after the explanation.
I look at my cards. 4♠7♠.
After the betting is capped pre-flop, I tell the dealer, that she needs to
clobber me with the deck.
The other 5 players in the hand are licking their lips.
The board comes 47J. Bingo!
Betting on the flop is capped with about 4 players.
Turn is a Q. Only three bets with 2 other players ready to see the river…
which is another 7. The river is also three-bet.
I’m happy. The table is dismayed.
None of them call me out for playing such a bad hand.
As I’m stacking the chips, the dealer notes “If that wasn’t clobbering you, I don’t know
what is.”
I give her a generous tip.
It takes me a long time to stack the chips.
Next hand, I’m dealt QQ.
I re-raise loud-drunk-guy.
We eventually cap it.
He proclaims that, were this no-limit, he’d raise me all in.
Of course, I retort that, were it no-limit, I’d call and beat his hand.
The board, thankfully, is low cards all the way.
I win, with loud-drunk-guy showing AKo.
He doesn’t seem to get that, though AKo vs. QQ are close to
even money before the flop, AK fares much worse after the flop
as it’s bet into by the QQ. He was even raising.
It takes me a long time to stack the chips.
Loud-drunk-guy is now gunning for me, both in hands, and
in table talk.
When I ask Josh, who’s sitting at the table, if he has a hand
in order to elicit a reaction from him (as I’ve been doing to
other people at the table), loud-drunk-guy starts yelling
that I can’t do that since Josh is my buddy. He asks the dealer, who thankfully stays quiet,
to intervene. Then he starts saying that Josh and I are colluding.
At this point the dealer notes that if we were, we wouldn’t be
doing it at a 3-6 game, and tells loud-drunk-guy that our behaviour is fine.
Then, loud-drunk-guy proclaims “I’m smart and sober!” much to everyone’s
amusement. I don’t think he was amused when I asked “Are we laughing about the
‘sober’ part or the ‘smart’ part?”
One more hand, I have QQ again.
There’s a fair amount of betting pre-flop, and a fair number of callers, as usual.
Flop comes QT8 rainbow.
I don’t read anyone who’s still in for a straight or straight draw.
The flop is three-bet, with a handful of people still in.
The turn is a 6. More betting, but we’re heads up at the river.
This turns out to be a good thing.
The river is another 8.
I bet, am re-raised, then re-raise.
My opponent asks the dealer if he can go all in.
I say I’m willing to do that, and if the dealer doesn’t let us, we
can just keep re-raising until one of us is out of chips.
I have absolutely no fear that this guy has 88.
My guess is T8 or 86.
The dealer lets us.
My opponent had about $80 in front of him before the betting on the river.
I’m flabbergasted as he turns over his hand. Q6, giving him 2 pair.
It takes me a long time to stack the chips.
At this point, Dan calls us for breakfast.
The table is dismayed to see me leave.
On the other hand, I’m pretty sure going to breakfast cost me another hundred dollars
or so of EV.
When I wasn’t getting good cards, I was making very good decisions, both on when to
lay down, and how and when to raise, re-raise, or check-raise.
Breakfast
Breakfast was uneventful other than the fact that I was giddy from the last hour.
No booze with breakfast (though I did have a coffee with Bailey’s at the poker
table) except for the cheap champagne fountain which only trickled.
The nicest hairdo I saw in Vegas, medium length, straight, black, with streaks of fire-engine red was at
breakfast.
Some drunk chick give me lip at the champagne fountain (actually, it was more like a tap)
as if the time it took to fill my mug with champagne was my fault.
I didn’t point out that she had two mugs in her hands.
NASCAR
Then it’s off to NASCAR.
I wasn’t dreading the race, but wasn’t really looking forward to it either.
Neither was Mike.
We were overjoyed when saw concessions selling alcohol other than beer.
It also helped that I was anticipating 300 laps (instead of 300 miles).
At lap 189, after the leader has a tire blowout, I ask Jim how screwed the
leader is, after slipping to 13th place. Jim says he’s fucked… there are only
10 laps left after the restart. Magically, I now have to wait only 10 more laps,
instead of 110.
Nick: Nudges Jim Blond.
Jim: Yeah, I saw.
Nick: OK. Don’t know how much cars compete for your attention.
Jim: I’ve driven a car lately.
Getting out of the event was another story.
Waiting for the bus took hours.
We missed the sunset at the Voodoo lounge.
We were dehydrated from the desert sun and copious booze consumption.
Voodoo Supper
Voodoo Café was good.
Food, drinks, and dessert were excellent as usual.
I had a nice seafood platter to start with, and prime rib as my main meal.
I think I should have had something less fatty.
Didn’t drink much, as I was pounding away waters to rehydrate.
Service, on the other hand sucked.
Sean gets the award for stupid answer of the night.
Woman, with hot friends in the distance, walks up to our table, approaches Sean.
Woman: Are you with a NASCAR pit crew?
Sean: No.
Also at dinner, bugging someone who’s notoriously slow at chugging beers:
Nick: Which can you do faster? Chug a beer, or have sex?
Someone: It doesn’t take me 5 years to chug a beer.
General Gambling
After dinner, time for some gambling.
I needed to unwind a bit first though, so went to
our hotel room to read a bit to settled down.
Played some Blackjack with Sean and the gang.
Was even. Dropped $5 into slot machines while
waiting around.
Craps: New Strategies To Win Enjoy
Then we played craps. My
aversion to craps
is well documented.
This time however, I decided to think out of the box.
Reading beforehand had me in the right mindset to
just sit back mentally and enjoy the ride.
My strategy was simple. Don’t play.
Just have fun people-watching.
A minor amendment to that was that throwing dice is fun, so I’ll just bet the pass line
when throwing the dice. I’ll also bet the max odds since there’s no casino edge to that bet,
so why not play with variance.
My initial goal was:
- Knock down the croupier’s stack of chips with the dice.
Then, a slightly chilly, pleasantly busty patron arrived at the other end of the table.
My goals were updated to:
- Knock down the croupier’s stack of chips with the dice.
- Have the dice land as close as possible to the other edge of the table
so busty would have to lean over to see them.
- Roll 7 or 11 when no point was set so busty would have to lean over and pick
up her winnings.
The betting strategy actually worked pretty well.
On my last go, I made about 8 points in a row, so from
01:00 to 02:11, I was up $205.
Because No One Ever Flirts With Me Normally
Dan likes to play a people-watching game called ‘spot the ho’ where one attempts to
identify the working girls and watch them flirt and attempt to close deals with the
gamblers who’d gone broke and were sitting at the bar.
The game was quite easy for me… the working girls were the ones winking at me as
they caught me people-watching.
Apparently, they also like to people watch, though probably for different reasons while
on the job.
While playing the game, I notice the chick from the champagne fountain
giving me the once-over. I retaliate in kind.
Strip Club II: Musings On My Gender Stereotype Conformance
After gambling, we again twist poor Sean’s arm into going to a strip club.
This one, Sapphire, boasts that it’s in a converted warehouse. 80,000 square feet.
It wasn’t that impressive.
The club was a bit slow, so the girls were aggressive.
Some people ended up getting lap dances because they didn’t say no forcefully enough.
We actually had to shuffle seats around so they were harder to get to for the
strippers.
Many of the girls tugged on my hair and said things like “I wish I had your hair.”
The grass is always greener, since I hoped I’d have straight hair when I grew it out.
I really like navel jewelry.
I think my fascination with it extends to the time I
saw “The Man With The Golden Gun”.
Best way to get strippers to leave me alone?
Say I’m only looking for / interested in phenotype, normally
‘redheads’ would do. Which brings me to my criteria for getting a lap
dance. She had to have red hair, hips, and be hotter than my wife.
Needless to say, no lap dance for me.
So, I think part of the reason I’m writing a lot about the strip club here,
other than the fact that it’s fascinating to people watch, is that I somehow
feel out of place for my gender. I don’t like strip clubs much. I also
feel that it’s a gender characteristic that I should. So, instead of getting
defensive about this perceived lack of masculinity on my part, I do what I
do best… I think about it… hahahaha… OK… OK… OK… I obsess about it.
At Sapphire, I found the cutest people to be guests and waitresses.
I think that this is due to many factors.
First, they seemed like much
more real people. You give them the benefit of the doubt. For a real
person, they’re pretty cute.
The dancers seemed like fake things just there to
catch your eye. Of course they’re beautiful, they’re a dancer… but
this could be better, her hair could be brunette, her tattoo is poorly
done. From reality, you appreciate. From the fake, you expect perfection.
Second, clothing is great. It hints. It covers. It hides. It
tantalizes. Even when the naughty bits aren’t hidden, clothing still adds
mystique for example,
[NSFW] The Burka Project.
Even things like painted-on jeans are good (especially since I’m the leg-and-ass type).
Though they leave little to the imagination they help by smoothing out and
firming up things, and help control a nice wiggle.
One of the dancers was wearing a white corset. I thought she looked nice.
Then she took the corset off. I lost interest.
One would expect the dim lights would help, but, with my vision, it
just means I can’t see things well unless they’re pressed up in
my face… a thing which you may have surmised, is generally not
my cup of tea.
One of the things that is nice is the movement.
Some of the girls are flexible, and can do interesting things dancing around, or up a pole.
It’s fascinating in the way that circus contortionists, good dancers, Olympic gymnasts, or
someone working wood with their hands is.
It’s nice to watch a pro work their body.
I remember being fascinated at how well my coworkers could roll burritos when I was working at
a Mexican restaurant.
Anyway… got home at 05:00 and went to bed.
Sunday
No Spa, Just Poker
Woke up. Ate leftovers from Voodoo.
Passed on going to the spa.
While I’ll go to a strip club, I’ll draw the line at the spa.
That’s the torture I’d put up with if Dina wants to go for
a romantic weekend at a B&B.
Played 5-10 Omaha with a kill from 11:41 to 12:14 for 137 profit.
Interesting that I now kill time by playing at a 5-10 with kill game.
Poker: 20-40 Hold’em
Played at the 20-40 Hold’em game from 12:23 to 19:35.
My total initial buy in was $1,637. At one point, I was down to the felt,
all in. I was playing low on chips for a couple of hours, rallied back
to about $1,100, and finally finished the session in order to catch
my plane at $980 for a loss of $657.
The early part of the session went badly.
I lost a lot of money on my KK to someone with KQo.
The board eventually was 9xxTJ.
Runner-runner straight, with me raising or re-raising the third person in the pot, all the way.
I also lost as my JJ ran into a KK. Normally, this isn’t so bad.
It is bad when the flop is KJx.
At one point I muttered to myself “It’s a scary 20-40 table when I’m tighter than most
of the players.” The guy to my right, who I’d been chatting with noted that I was
playing tight as a rock.
In my defense, I was getting really crappy cards for the most part.
People would be playing 47s, 35s, 67s, 25o, under the gun.
I saw someone, second to act, call a raise from the person under the gun with a 47o.
People were frequently drawing to runner-runner straights and flushes.
Part of what contributed to my initial plummet was that people were hitting
these low odds draws against me. Part of what contributed to my comeback
was that people were paying me off as their low odds draws against me didn’t pan out.
Played KJ unraised in late position.
It paid off handsomely as the board came QT985.
Both my other opponents had lower straights.
Played 55 in late position aggressively only to be raised by the BB.
I tried to steal on a safe looking flop of T43 and got re-raised.
I re-raised to try for a free card after the turn. The turn was a 2,
so I tried a semi-bluff .
The river was an A, giving me a wheel.
My opponent folded to my bet crediting me with an A. He was
unhappy when I showed my presto.
I think in the end, I may have been playing too tight.
When I loosened up a bit, things started falling into place a bit better.
Airport
Off to the airport, where there was no line at all at security.
We had a bite to eat, and then, to kill time, we played some 1-2 No Limit Hold’em,
$100 buy-in. Just as we were boarding, Josh lost an all-in to Jim, leaving Jim up $29 and
myself up $71.
Plane. Sleep. Home.
Wrap Up
Some notable things I didn’t do this time.
- Get AA at a poker table (though I did get one against Jim & Josh).
I was down badly on the hands I had KK on, well up with QQ, about
even with JJ, and up with TT.
- Hit a three-card flush draw.
Accidentally hit some four-card flush draws, but it was usually with
me rooting against the flush knowing that someone else had a higher
singleton of the dreaded suit.
- Get a lap dance.
- Get silly drunk.
Interesting snowflake.
