bullet point stream of consciousness may occur at times…
My first major project at work hit production while I was on vacation.
It wasn’t the disaster that I had nightmares about. Thankfully.
Project management instills me with a feeling of helplessness.
You depend on other people.
Not everyone is a Smooth or a Sheffi.
How do you estimate how long it will take someone who is more junior / less skilled than you are to do something?
Relying on their estimate isn’t always right, because, heck, their estimation skills may not be their forté.
I have the urge to code, even if I should be overseeing things.
I broke down and coded something that I should have delegated.
Is this bad?
I’m done.
It didn’t blow up.
It is useful.
But… will it be used?
On this project, I was worried that my architecture wouldn’t be up to snuff.
I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to do it well enough.
My new project is more familiar.
I’m simply not sure if I’ll be able to get it done on time.
Much more reassuring… I know how to deal with that.
Honest introspection and the outward appearance of self-confidence are two things that I have yet to reconcile.